


It’s going to be ok

by Orangepenguin24



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Emotional Abuse, Gen, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 35,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23570551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangepenguin24/pseuds/Orangepenguin24
Summary: Young Matthew Casey has accepted  that life is full of pain and disappointments. All he wants is to get through the rest of his miserable existence without hurting anyone else. But maybe life has other plans for the young blonde , maybe the distressed boy will meet two people who teach him that life is more than just surviving.(Middle school Au)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 44





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is a random story no one asked for but I had it stuck in my head.  
> I hope you enjoy , all criticism welcome.

Matt slowly walked through the empty halls of the gigantic unfamiliar school , he could feel his heart racing as he glanced at the piece of paper in his hand. His timetable was confusing and he was struggling to find his home room. It was his first day and he was already late , his aunt had promised to give him a lift to school but she had to leave for an urgent meeting before he woke up. His aunts house was only ten minutes away from the school but he had gotten lost on his way , all the houses looked identical and he wasn’t concentrating properly. Matt was too busy worrying about what everybody was going to think of him , what if they found out what his mother did ? Matt just wanted to forget about it. Matt finally arrived at the right room and anxiously knocked the door.  
“ come in “ called a firm voice. Matt slowly opened the door and stepped into the class room , he felt his face heat up as every one turned towards him, he could feel their eyes boring into him. A tall man stood up and offered Matt his hand.Matt quickly wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and apprehensively shook the mans hand.  
“You must be Matt I’m Mr Boden , happy to have you in our class” greeted Boden. Matt began studying his shoes wishing the floor would just swallow him up . He tried desperately to ignore the sound of Boden introducing him to the class.  
“Why don’t you find a spare seat ?” Suggested Boden. Matt kept his head down as he walked towards an empty desk in the corner of the room. As he sat down the pretty light blonde girl in front of him turned around and offered him a wide smile.  
“ Hi Mathew I’m Sylvie” she greeted cheerfully.   
“ Hi “ Matt mumbled refusing to meet Sylvie’s eyes , he didn’t want any friends he just wanted to get through the rest of the year without any issues . Matt continued freezing out the rest of the world as he held his hands firmly against his ears and nervously tapped his foot. He felt a jolt of panic when someone placed a hand on his shoulder . Matt reluctantly removed his hands from his ears and glanced up at a boy with scruffy light brown hair staring down at him .  
“ They’re all gone “ he stated.  
“ I’m Andy and this is Kelly” he announced with a goofy grin , then he gestured to a dark haired boy lingering by the door.   
“Thanks” Matt mumbled before grabbing his bag and heading for the door.  
“ Mathew” a deep voice called back , Matt turned to see Boden still sat at his desk.   
“ if you ever need anything my doors always open” comforted Boden, Matt nodded before promptly leaving the room.   
“I’ve got Maths now , what about you?” Andy asked , Matt wordlessly passed Andy his timetable.  
“Cool you’ve got English with Kelly” exclaimed Andy. Matt glanced awkwardly at Kelly who hadn’t uttered a word yet. Kelly was taller than matt and he was staring at him with a look of amusement.  
“ look after him Kelly or I’ll set Harrison on you “ threatened Andy.  
“ Pfft Harrison is older than Boden” laughed Kelly darting around Matt to punch Andy in the arm.  
“ Harrisons my dog “ explained Andy noticing Matts brow furrowed in confusion .  
“ Sorry I’ve got to go, Kelly will look after you” stated Andy before heading into a noisy classroom.  
“ Come on Matthew we’re late” Kelly urged.  
“ Matt” he murmured. Kelly nodded before walking into a hectic class room . Matt apprehensively walked up to the teacher who smiled softly at him and pointed to a desk at the back of the room. 

Kelly watched Matt take a seat and immediately bury his head in his arms, Kelly felt sorry for the blonde he looked absolutely miserable.   
“Hey tony can I switch places with you ?” Asked Kelly.  
“Yeah sure” Tony responded . Kelly settled himself down in the seat next to Matt , he found himself surprised by his own actions , he kept telling himself he was just doing this for Andy but deep down he knew it was because Matt reminded him of himself.   
Matt hadn’t even noticed Kelly yet , he kept his head glued to the desk, he was listening intently to the teacher but didn’t want to lift his head up ,he was tired and fed up already.

It had been the worse month of his life , it had been three weeks and four days since his mother had shot his father, shattering his world. Matt’s mum still hadn’t been sentenced yet but he knew she wasn’t getting out soon , his sister Christie had returned to college stating she had already missed too much school already and his aunt insisted it was time he started school again. He’d been living at his aunts for two weeks now she was a nice lady but she loved her career a lot more than she loved Matt , she was barely ever home and when she was Matt stayed in his room. He didn’t care about the rest of the world anymore , he missed his dad . Matt was never good enough for his father he thought he was weak and stupid, but Matt now knew he was right. He was such an idiot for leaving his key on the kitchen table, he was responsible for his dad’s death as much as his mum was. Matt felt like he was drowning in guilt , he constantly felt sick and his heart physically ached in his chest. The world was too loud and he just wanted to curl up in a ball , close his eyes tight and forget about the rest of the world.

“Matt “ whispered Kelly as he gently shook Matts shoulder. Matt looked up at Kelly and wiped away the stray tears that escaped.   
“ Thanks” Matt rasped before exiting the room. Matt parted ways with Kelly and headed to his next lesson alone. As he walked further away from Kelly he found himself missing the tall boy but he wouldn’t admit it to anyone.


	2. Little piggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matts day takes a turn for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy, any criticism welcome

Matt spent the rest of his morning lessons with his head buried in his arms and his hands clamped over his ears . When lunch time arrived Matt felt nerves rattling in his stomach and bile rising in his throat. As he stepped into the canteen his ears were assaulted with the thunderous sound of people talking and laughing. The voices all blurred together and the blinding lights were glaring at him. Matt slowly backed out of the canteen careful not to bump into anyone, as soon as he was back in the empty hall he started searching anxiously for somewhere to hide, finally Matt found the toilets and wasted no time in hiding in one of the stalls. 

Shay watched as Kelly kept glancing over at the entrance to the canteen. Kelly’s food was untouched and he was completely oblivious to what Shay was saying.  
“ Kelly what’s up with you today? “ asked shay she thought things were better for Kelly now he was living with his Mums friend Jane . But before Kelly could respond he spotted a worried looking Andy running towards him.  
“I can’t find him anywhere Kelly do you think he got lost ?” Andy babbled.  
“ I doubt he got lost Andy the schools not that big “ sighed Kelly standing up.  
“ who are you talking about ?” Shay asked.  
“The new boy Matthew “  
“He prefers Matt “ interrupted Kelly. Shay stared at Kelly with her mouth wide open , Kelly was a caring person but he didn’t normally let strangers see that side of him , Kelly always kept everyone else at arm length and preferred it when people believed he didn’t care. Shay was surprised by how much this Matt clearly meant to Kelly already.   
“ Wow , watch out Andy I think Kelly’s replacing you” she joked , everyone knew nothing was ever going to separate Andy and Kelly.  
“No one can replace me” announced Andy he grinned briefly.  
“ We need to find Matt , he looked like an abandoned puppy earlier” explained Andy , a small frown appearing on his face as recalled the blondes dejected state.  
“ come on you two, I’ll go to the library , Andy you check outside and Kelly you check the toilets “ instructed shay before getting up and sprinting out of the canteen, with Andy and Kelly following close behind. 

Matt had closed the lid of the toilet and was sat with feet on the lid and his legs pulled tightly to his chest. Fat tears rolled down his face as he rocked himself back and forth. He didn’t have many friends at his old school his dad didn’t like him getting too close to other people. Also Matt knew he was a freak , so no one would willingly want to spend time with anyway . But at least at his old school Matt knew where all the peaceful hiding spots were . Matts self loathing was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the toilets. Matt could hear them talking loudly and joking around, if he had to guess he’d say there were three of them.   
“ Hey can you hear that ?” One of them yelled causing Matts entire body to still.  
“ I think someone’s crying “ the voice laughed obnoxiously. Matt hadn’t realised he was still sobbing, he frantically rubbed his tears away and tried to calm his breathing but it was no use, Shaky breaths loudly escaped his mouth and he could feel his heart beat speeding up as someone approached the stall.   
“ come out come out little pig “ mocked the voice.  
“Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and ill knock this stall down” the voice laughed before they began kicking the door. Matt held his hands over his ears silently pleading for the person to leave him alone. 

As Kelly walked into the toilets he saw a group of boys laughing wildly at something. As Kelly got closer he saw a tall boy laughing and violently quickly the door of one of the stalls. Kelly felt a bad feeling washing over him , he’d bet everything in his backpack that Matt was the poor soul trapped in the stall.   
“Back off” yelled Kelly. The boy stopped and turned towards Kelly, it was Griffin a vile loathsome low life who enjoyed making everyone else’s lives hell.  
“Why should I ?” Sneered Griffin. Griffin gasped dramatically   
“Does this little piggy belong to you”   
“Just leave him alone “ growled Kelly .  
“ Fine , he’s no fun any way “ whined Griffin before leaving followed closely by his pathetic friends.

Once Kelly was sure he was alone he approached the stall.  
“ Matt is that you ? “ asked Kelly tentatively , he could hear Matts shaky breaths.  
“ Matt it’s me Kelly, We met this morning , my best friend Andy is the dorky kid who could talk the hind legs off a donkey ” he chuckled nervously.   
“Please Matt open the door” pleaded Kelly. There was no response from Matt so Kelly remained sat on the floor waiting patiently for Matt to finally open the door. Eventually the bell sliced through the school signalling the end of lunch . Kelly moved away from the door and stood by the sinks hoping Matt would come out thinking Kelly had left, he quickly texted Shay and Andy to tell them where he’d found Matt. A few minutes had passed and Matt still hadn’t opened the door when Andy came barrelling through the door . As he saw the locked door and heard Matts distress he shared a concerned look with Kelly , Kelly walked over to Andy and they both crouched down in front of the stall .   
“Matt it’s Andy remember , I know school sucks but the days almost over” he finished lamely.  
Andy turned to Kelly in desperation,  
“ should I go get a teacher “ Andy whispered . Kelly thought for a moment before nodding , as much as he hated getting teachers involved there was nothing else they could do.   
“Ok Matt I’m going to go get Boden “ informed Andy , he waited to see if Matt would try to stop him but Matt did nothing. So Andy darted out of the room to go find Boden. 

Kelly was growing more worried by the second , he could still hear Matt breathing rapidly.  
“ Boden is a really nice guy , we can trust him “ rambled Kelly . However Matt wasn’t listening anymore , his throat was sore from crying, his head hurt and he just wanted to go home , but home didn’t exist anymore. Matt would have given anything for his dad to come and pick him up , Matt didn’t care that his dad would have been fuming at him being so weak ,he just wanted to see him one last time and apologise for screwing everything up. The thoughts of his dad made him breathe even faster . This was all Matts fault he brought this on himself , he was the reason his Mum was in prison, the reason his sister was upset all the time and the reason his dad was dead. They were happy before he came along , he was the mistake that ruined his parents marriage, but his mother still loved him and in the end she snapped and killed his father , everything was Matts fault. He hurt everyone around him he thought bitterly.

Kelly was listening to the faint sound of Matt whimpering at least he knew Matt hadn’t passed out. Kelly felt relief wash over him as Andy came running through the door with a worried Boden trailing behind him.   
“Hey Mathew it’s Mr Boden , I’m going to need you to open this door now “ Boden asked in a gentle tone as he crouched down next to Kelly in front of the door .  
“Please come out Matthew , we’re all here for you” Boden comforted.  
“ If you don’t open the door I’m going to have to get the janitor to take the door of it’s hinges , I don’t think any of us want it to come to that” stated Boden.  
“Matt” mumbled a small voice .   
“ He doesn’t like being called Mathew “ informed Kelly when a look of confusion appeared on Boden’s face.  
“Ok Matt , can you open the door for me?”, hesitatingly Matt stood up shakily and opened the door. Boden felt his heart clench at the sight of the poor boy, his eyes were red and puffy , tear tracks stained his face and he was shaking . In that moment Matt looked a lot younger than sixteen.  
“I want to go home” whimpered Matt, he felt his ears burning with embarrassment, his dad taught him not to cry and here he was a blithering wreck on his first day at his new school, he could practically feel his dad turning in his grave .  
Boden’s heart sank at Matts admission he was aware of Matt’s situation and he was pretty sure Matt wasn’t talking about his aunt’s house.   
“ Ok Matt, why don’t we go to my class room ? , no ones in there at the moment and we can talk” Boden suggested . Matt didn’t want to talk but he supposed going with Boden was better than returning to class.   
“Are they coming?” Matt asked as he pointed to Kelly and Andy who were watching him intently.  
“Do you want them to come ?” Asked Boden. Matt nodded and turned towards Kelly and Andy.  
“Is that ok” Matt asked them timidly.  
“Of course it is , at least I get to miss history “ Andy joked , Boden rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything as he knew Andy was trying to lighten the mood. Matt furiously wiped away his remaining tears as he followed Boden out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed , stay safe ; )


	3. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt’s rough first day at school is finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy , thank you for reading . : )

Matt fiddled with the straps of his backpack as he quickly dashed out of the classroom , it was finally the end of the day and Matt just wanted to get away from the the loud teens and over bearing teachers , Matt’s head was spinning and he felt like he was suffocating in the chaotic crowd of people, but he kept moving through the hallway as fast as his feet would let him , when suddenly he felt someone lightly grab us arm , As Matt swivelled around he saw a concerned Kelly gazing intently at him and a flustered Andy was running up to them.

“ Matt hey slow down what’s the rush?” Asked Kelly. Matt swallowed nervously and looked away ,they’d seen him break down , they knew how weak and pathetic he was. They probably thought he was an easy target , they were just waiting for him to let his guard down before stabbing him in the back. However Matt was too tired to fight or to run away , he was used to be someone’s punching bag , he’d let them do their worse and eventually they would just get bored and leave him alone.  
When the blonde didn’t answer Kelly decided to keep talking ,Kelly may have only met Matt that morning but he could clearly see Matt was hurting , Maybe all he needed was a friend or two.  
“ Where do you live ? Do you walk home?” Kelly asked as they stepped outside into the cool crisp Chicago air.  
“ umm yeah , it’s not far, near a Fire station” mumbled Matt.  
“ Cool , I live near there , we can walk together “ exclaimed Kelly ,   
“ Damn ,I’m stuck taking the smelly bus” whined Andy.  
“ Yeah and you better run to grab a seat” laughed Kelly , dodging Andy’s playful punch.  
“Nice to meet you Matt , see you tomorrow” yelled Andy as he sprinted off.  
“So I guess it’s just you and me now” stated Kelly as he offered Matt a small smile.  
However Matt kept his head down, he felt slightly more relaxed now Andy was gone but Kelly was still a lot bigger than Matt. Kelly was tall and athletic , where as Matt was a skinny kid, people often mistook him for being a lot younger than he actually was. But Matt’s only blessing was that he was fast he could outrun nearly everyone in his old school ; he no longer felt like running.

“Where did you live before?” Inquired Kelly in a casual tone , Kelly really hoped Matt would talk soon. He was running out of things to say ,Kelly normally let Andy do most of the talking.  
“Twenty minutes away” a small voice responded . Kelly raised his eyebrows at Matts cryptic answer.  
“ At least you still live close to friends and family” comforted Kelly.  
“ Don’t have any” Matt responded dejectedly , as soon as the words tumbled out of his mouth he felt regret settle in his stomach.  
“Oh” Kelly sighed.  
“ Well you have me and Andy now” Kelly exclaimed. They continued walking as a comfortable silence settled over them. Eventually they reached a cozy little house sitting comfortably at the end of a peaceful street.  
“ This is my stop” Kelly announced gesturing to the house. Matt nodded and began to Keep walking , when Kelly continued,  
“Why don’t you come in ? I’ve got loads of video games” offered Kelly. Matt stared at Kelly he wore a warm smile and he had kind eyes but Matt knew if he said no Kelly could turn angry and violent. However Matt also knew he had nothing better to do, the only thing waiting for Matt was an empty house, his aunt wouldn't be home till past midnight and Christie had stopped calling him to talk every evening.  
“Are you sure? I don’t want to get in the way”   
“It’s ok Matt . Shay and Andy come over all the time, come on it will be fun to have someone new to play against “  
“ok” Matt timidly replied, Kelly felt a warm feeling in his chest , he never expected Matt to say yes but he was really glad he had. Kelly climbed the steps and opened the front door before stopping to beckon Matt to follow, the blonde was frozen in place on the pavement looking lost.  
Matt stepped into the house it was warm and vibrant , there was a comfy looking sofa in the living room and bookcases lined the walls. A small kitchen looked onto the living room and a dark haired woman was busy cooking something , a sweet scent had already filled the small house.  
“ Hi Kelly, good day” the woman asked not looking up from the vegetables she was chopping.  
“ Wow Andy you’ve changed a lot since yesterday ” she chuckled as she looked up to see Matt anxiously lingering by the front door.  
“Aunt Jane this is Matt he’s new” explained Kelly   
“ to school or the planet “ she joked.  
“ ha ha very funny, Matt this is my Aunt Jane ” replied Kelly. Matt silently watched the scene in front of him , his Dad never would have never let him talk back like that.  
“ Would you like to stay for dinner Matt ?” Jane asked gently, noticing the fear in Matts eyes and the lack of colour in his face.  
“I don’t want to be a bother” Matt squeaked.  
“ It’s no trouble, I always make extra just in case Andy or Shay come over”  
“Thank you”

“Make yourself comfortable Matt “ Kelly said as he grabbed the game controllers and offered one to Matt before plopping himself down onto the sofa. Matt awkwardly perched himself on the edge of the sofa , he’d never been invited over to someone else’s house before he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act. Kelly kept up a running commentary as he and Matt played video games , but the other boy hadn’t spoken a word in the last ten minutes.  
“She’s not my real aunt” stated Kelly.  
“ She went to school with my mum , My dad disappears from time to time and my mum was struggling so here I am” Kelly revealed , he didn’t know why he was telling Matt all this but it felt good to open up to someone. Matt started absentmindedly fiddling with the cuff of his jumper ,   
“I live with my aunt” replied Matt before returning to the game. Kelly smiled softly at Matt’s response, the blonde was finally starting to trust him.

“Dinners ready” Jane called , Kelly eagerly stood up and headed towards the dining table with Matt trailing behind him.   
“ Thanks” stated Kelly as he sat down, Matt reluctantly took a seat and stared at his plate waiting to be told he could eat but he was left baffled as Kelly and Jane began digging in.  
“ you can start eating” Kelly urged.   
“ thank you “ Matt said sincerely. Kelly and Jane happily chatted away as Matt kept his head down, they both tried to involve Matt in their conversation but he only gave short vague answers. When all their plates were empty Matt began helping Jane clear the table , once the table was cleared he moved towards the sink to start washing up.  
“ Matt you don’t have to do that” said Jane.  
“Yes I do “ stated Matt with his brows furrowed in confusion.  
“ No Matt you don’t” Jane repeated as she moved towards Matt slowly as if he was a wounded animal , despite Jane’s assurances Matt continued washing up the plates. Kelly uneasily watched the scene in front of him , he knew it was best to let his aunt handle it, she was the most caring person Kelly knew , also she was amazing with people she had a way of getting them to trust her.  
“Matt it’s ok” she soothed as she tentatively placed a hand on his arm but she let go immediately as she felt him flinch.  
“Please I promise I’ll clean up , I don’t want to be a burden, I’ve already taken up a lot of your time and I ate your food. I’m not a freeloader . Please I need to help” he explained hurriedly his voice becoming more high pitch as he started panicking , he was shaking now and he was huddling in on himself making himself appear smaller.  
“Ok Matt” Jane replied calmly stepping away with her hands raised in the air. Kelly looked at Jane , his eyes were silently pleading with Jane for answers but she shook her head , telling Kelly she would explain later, once Matt finished he stepped away from the sink and darted to the door .   
“ I’m sorry for intruding” Matt apologised as he opened the door and disappeared into the night.  
“Matt” called Kelly but the blonde was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks reading, all criticism welcome : )  
> Have a good day!


	4. Someone cares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in his life Matt has found people he can trust , people who actually care about him but is it too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I hope you enjoy

Once again Matt found himself anxiously walking the empty halls of the school, he arrived late intentionally to avoid bumping into Kelly on the way to school. But Matt hadn’t worked out how he was going to avoid Kelly all the day , they had a lot of lessons together. Matt rubbed his eyes tiredly as he reached his class , he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept, every time he closed his eyes he saw his father yelling at him asking him why he let him die , asking him why he betrayed him. Matts aunt hadn’t returned home last night which wasn’t unusual , she often spent the nights at coworkers houses , Matt felt like she was avoiding him , it was like she was trying to forget he even lived with her. Therefore Matt spent another night alone staring emptily at the tv until light crept into the empty living room . As he tugged nervously at his sleeve he realised he was wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday.

Matt finally reached his class and walked in mumbling an apology to Boden before heading to his seat. Boden took in Matt’s disheveled appearance and let out deep sigh , he spent all night thinking about the poor blonde. Donna had tried to comfort him but she understood what it was like to watch a student go through hell and not be able to help them. Boden wouldn’t be able to help Matt until he’d gained his trust so for now all he could do was keep a close eye on him.  
“ Hey Matt” greeted Kelly in a cheerful voice, he was overwhelmed with relief when Matt appeared , he was starting to worry Matt wasn’t going to come back. Matt looked away from Kelly and pulled a notebook out of his bag and buried his head in it until homeroom finally ended.

Matt went about his morning like a zombie, he turned up to his lessons , nodded when the teachers spoke and stared at his books. When Matt finally made it to lunch he knew there was no way he could hide in the toilets again , but the canteen was hectic and noisy , there were too many people. Matt was starting to consider just walking out and going home , after all his aunt wouldn’t care , no one cared anymore. Then Matt heard a familiar voice calling his name , he looked up to see Kelly leaving a table in the corner of the room and heading towards him. Matt had managed to avoid Kelly all day by making sure he was the first to leave every lesson and the last to arrive , he thought Kelly would have gotten bored of chasing him by now , he wasn’t worth this much trouble . 

Matt decided there was no use In running anymore, Kelly was relentless.  
“ Hey Matt want to eat lunch with us?” Kelly asked as Matt nodded apprehensively . Matt didn’t say anything as Kelly chatted away but continued walking alongside Kelly. They reached the table and Matt looked up at to see a blonde girl staring at him with a wide smile , next to her was Andy who was pretending he hadn’t noticed Matt.  
“ Matt this is Shay” introduced Kelly,  
“Hi Matt “ smiled Shay,  
“Hi” he responded meekly.  
“ oops I forgot ,do you need to buy lunch?” Asked Kelly,Matt had lunch money in his pocket but he wasn’t hungry , the smallest bite of food made him feel overwhelmingly nauseous. Matt shook his head and reluctantly sat down at the end of the table next to Andy . Kelly sat down next to Shay and began digging into his lunch. Andy and Shay continued talking happily, they all notice Matt wasn’t eating but decided best not to comment.  
“So Matt has Kelly been looking after you?” asked Shay. Matt looked up at Shay like a dear caught in the headlights.  
“I don’t need looking after” declared Matt.  
“ I know I was just joking , Kelly’s acts like a jerk sometimes but he is a really good guy” explained Shay , she started smirking as she watched a blush creep into Kelly’s cheeks in embarrassment.  
“Oh , sorry” replied Matt sheepishly.  
“ I think I should go” Matt announced as he started standing up.  
“No Matt , we like having you here” comforted Kelly. Awkwardly Matt sat back down ,he bounced his leg up and down nervously, but as he listened intently to their conversation he felt a warm feeling in his chest. They were funny people and he was enjoying their company but as he found himself laughing softly as Shay playfully punched Kelly he felt a dark feeling settle in his stomach, what if they decided they didn’t want him around anymore? 

Two weeks passed and they were still letting Matt sit at their table, he rarely contributed to their conversations but he enjoyed watching their antics. Matt had laughed more in the past two weeks than he had in the past ten years. They no longer asked Matt questions about his past but they were clearly still intrigued by the secretive blonde. The trio had taken it upon themselves to look after the fragile boy ,there current mission was to try and encourage the blonde to stay over Andy’s house for the night on the weekend.  
“Come on matt it will be so much fun “ pleaded Andy,  
“No thank you, I don’t want to get in the way” Matt said ,mumbling the last part.  
“Matt with you we’ll have enough people to play Pictionary “ comforted Andy.  
But Matt looked away and started picking at his food, his appetite had returned mostly but today he was too nervous to eat, this whole sleep over thing was stressing him out ,what If they got annoyed at him for saying no and stopped letting him sit with them ? But what if he said yes and they sent him to the wrong house or worse, what if they poured water over him while he was sleeping or shaved his eye brows? Matt’s head was starting to spin , this seemed like a loose loose situation. Even If they did play a prank on him at the sleep over they might still let him sit with them , he loved sitting with them but he was also afraid, it had only been two weeks since he met them but he was already attached , he wasn’t sure how he would cope when they inevitably left.

“Ok “ whispered Matt , immediately he felt three pairs of eyes on him.  
“ You’ll come” exclaimed Andy excitedly.  
“ o-o-only if you’re sure you want me too”  
“ of course we’re sure” responded Shay and Kelly simultaneously.  
“ Ok then , I’ll come over” Matt said reluctantly. Andy was over joyed and Shay was busy chuckling at Andy’s excitement but Kelly noticed the pained expression on Matts face and the fear in his eyes.

Kelly watched Matt closely for the rest of the day , he kept tugging at his sleeve which Kelly noticed he always did when he was nervous, he also tugged at his hair when he was frustrated and tapped his foot when he was upset. Matt did these things instead of expressing his emotions, after all no one cared about his feelings, it was better for everyone if he kept them to himself.  
“Hey Matt if you don’t like it at Andy’s you can leave anytime “ stated Kelly as they walked peacefully away from the school, Kelly walked home with Matt everyday , also he had somehow convinced Matt to walk to school with him in the morning too.  
“Oh , I won’t come if -“  
“ no Matt that’s not what I meant” interrupted Kelly, groaning internally , he should of known Matt would take his words the wrong way.  
“ I meant we don’t want to make you uncomfortable, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to , if you’re only coming to the sleepover to make us happy, you don’t have to” Kelly rambled. Matt gave him a puzzled look.  
“Why do you want me there?” asked Matt in a broken voice.  
“We like you Matt , you’re a good friend” explained Kelly, Matt felt a lump in his throat and started to speed up his pace, but Kelly gently caught Matt’s hand before he could run off. Matt stilled at the contact and Kelly moved so he was standing in front of Matt.  
“You know you’re our friend right” Kelly said as he looked at Matt , but Matt began tugging anxiously at his hair and Kelly saw a stray tear run down his face. Suddenly Kelly had a horrible realisation, Matt had never had a friend before.  
“ Hey Matt” Kelly soothed as he tentatively grabbed Matt’s arms to stop him from pulling at his hair, Kelly felt completely helpless.  
“Do you mind if I hug you ?” Inquired Kelly, hesitantly Matt shook his head. As he felt himself being engulfed in a warm hug he felt safe , he remembered the last time he felt like this , it was before his parents divorce. He woke up screaming after a bad nightmare but his parents didn’t hear him over their arguing , but Christie had heard his screams, she went into his room with her favourite book gripped in her hand, she pulled Matt into her lap and began softly reading to him.  
Not long after that night his parents divorced and Christie stopped coming to his rescue. As snapped out of his thoughts he realised he was sobbing.  
“ Hey Matt, Andy is like my brother and Shay is like my sister, and we all agree you’re our little brother” comforted Kelly. Matt reluctantly pulled away from Kelly and wiped his eyes,  
“Sorry” murmured Matt.  
“It’s fine Matt” Kelly responded as they started walking again.  
“ why don’t you come over for dinner again? I know aunt Jane would be happy to have you over again” asked Kelly.  
“Sorry I can’t , my aunt is expecting me home soon” lied Matt , Kelly nodded accepting Matt’s answer he knew the blonde was lying but he decided not to pry . Matt hadn’t returned to Kelly’s house since he ran out after panicking the day they met.  
“ Ok , have a good evening Matty“ smiled Kelly as they reached his house. Kelly knew he would do anything for Matt , he really was his little brother.  
“Bye Kelly “ Matt said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, all criticism welcome .  
> Have a happy day : )


	5. The sleepover part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt is petrified of loosing his new friends , is Andy’s sleepover going to be the end of their friendship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy, thank you for the comments

Matt anxiously held his duffel bag to his chest as he shifted from foot to foot , he’d been standing outside Kelly’s house for ten minutes but hadn’t gathered the courage to knock the door yet. Since Matt didn’t know where Andy lived Kelly had suggested Matt come round to his house first, then they’d walk to Andy's house together. Matt could feel his heart racing and his palms turning sweaty, all his instincts were telling him to turn around now and run home before anything bad could happen. However as Matt was about to leave the front door opened and Kelly’s aunt Jane appeared,  
“Hi Matt, Kelly’s almost ready but why don’t you come in and wait?” She suggested in a friendly tone.  
“Ok” Matt responded immediately, he didn’t want to upset her by declining her offer. Jane welcomed Matt into the house with a warm smile and encouraged Matt to make himself at home.  
Matt sat down awkwardly on the sofa still hugging his duffel bag close to him.  
“Looking forward to a long night of watching horror films , eating junk food and playing video games?” Asked Jane in a joyful tone ,  
“Yeah I guess” Matt answered shakily, he was terrified of what pain the night could bring.  
“Kelly hurry up , Matt is waiting for you” Jane called up the stairs,  
“It’s ok I don’t mind waiting , I don’t mind continuing waiting outside ” the words rushed out of Matt’s mouth , his dad always got mad if he wasn’t punctual , he didn’t want Kelly to get in trouble.  
“No Matt it’s fine , Kelly should of packed his bag last night or first thing this morning but organisation hasn’t never been his strong point” laughed Jane. Matt absentmindedly reached up and started pulling at his hair.  
“Ah there he is , Mr unprepared” joked Jane as Kelly came jogging down the stairs holding a blue backpack,  
“Sorry for keeping you waiting Matt” apologised Kelly,  
“It’s ok” assured Matt.  
“See you tomorrow Aunt Jane” Kelly said as Jane leaned in and gave Kelly a hug.  
“ have fun” Jane called as Matt and Kelly left the cozy house.

Kelly chatted happily as he and Matt walked to Andy’s , Kelly had always loved Andy’s house and he hoped Matt would too. As they approached Andy’s house Kelly looked over at Matt , he was holding onto his duffel bag so tight his knuckles were turning white.  
“ Matt don’t worry tonight’s going to be lots of fun” stated Kelly in an attempt to comfort Matt but his words had the opposite effect, the little colour Matt had in his face drained away and his frown deepened.  
“We’re here” announced Kelly as they approached a humble house, a tall majestic tree stood proudly in the garden and vibrant flower boxes sat happily underneath the windows.  
“Hey Kelly and Matt” called Andy who had appeared on the porch.

Once they were in Andy’s living room Kelly wasted no time in sitting himself down on Andy’s sofa next to Shay who had already arrived. But Matt remained frozen by the front door,  
“Hey Matt you can put your bag over here” explained Andy as he gestured to the dimly lit alcove under the stairs where Kelly’s and Shay’s bags were already sat, but Matt shook his head and strengthened his grip on the bag. Andy resorted to gently steering Matt to the sofa. For the next twenty minutes Matt watched Shay beat Kelly repeatedly in a racing game , Matt wasn’t really focusing on the image on the tv screen , he was too busy scanning the room, he could see the back door from where he was sat and he was the closest to the front door, but Matt realised glumly he had no idea how to get home. He studied the neighbourhood and street names intently but now it was all a blur. He was trapped at Andy’s , part of Matt was hopeful this really was just an innocent sleep over but he wasn’t naive and he knew this was the perfect opportunity for the trio to play a cruel prank on him, the only thought that kept Matt from screaming frustration was that even if they pranked him there was a small chance they might still let him sit at their table.

When Kelly grew tired of loosing he suggested they do something else. They started playing Pictionary, Matt and Kelly against Shay and Andy , as they laughed at Kelly’s over competitiveness and Andy’s awful drawing skills Matt felt the tension start to leave his body, he had finally let go of his bag and allowed Andy to deposit in the alcove. Kelly and Matt had lost once again when a tall dark haired man walked into the living room,  
“Hi Kelly and Shay having a good time ?”  
“Yep” Kelly and Shay responded smiling,  
“And you must be Matt” said the man as his gaze settled on Matt,  
“Yes sir” Matt responded in a steady voice as he began tugging at his sleeve.  
“No need to call me Sir, you can call me Patrick”.  
Matt nodded his head before staring mournfully at his bag in the alcove, he was starting to regret letting it go.  
“Well if you need anything I’ll be in the garage” announced mr Darden before disappearing.  
“Dads a mechanic, he’s currently fixing up this really cool car” explained Andy excitedly.

At some point Andy ordered pizza and they all began digging , except Matt who nibbled reluctantly at a small slice , he felt nauseous and everything he ate tasted like cardboard. It was getting later and Matt was tired he still wasn’t sleeping well and he’d spent most of the night before pacing up and down. Matt knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight either as he didn’t want to leave himself vulnerable to cruel jokes.

Kelly was smiling widely , Matt was still reserved but he was laughing and most of the tension had left his body, he seemed more relaxed than Kelly had ever seen him at school. Shay and Andy were sat comfortably on the sofa while Kelly sat on plump pillows on the floor. Matt was sat next to Kelly with his knees pulled to his chest and his back pressed up against the sofa as he stared at the tv. Kelly had just put on a busy action film , Matt wasn’t paying much attention he was too busy listening to the playful exchange between Shay and Kelly, they were lightheartedly bickering about something. 

Matt was violently jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of a gun shot coming from the tv ; Matt felt his body being engulfed in fear. Matt may have not been there when his dad died but he had spent every day since imagining it , the sound of a bullet would have been the last thing his dad heard , Matt always wondered if he was afraid. Every time he imagined his dads death afterwards his mind always replayed the moment he left his house key on the table over and over again, the moment he betrayed his father. Matt felt bile rise in his throat. Kelly could hear whimpering coming from the small blonde,  
“Matt is everything ok” he asked gently tapping Matt’s arm , after a while Matt’s whimpering died down.  
“Yeah I’m fine” murmured Matt as he looked away from Kelly. Matt felt overwhelming guilt suffocating him , what gave him the right to be messing around having a great time when his dad was buried in the ground because of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it , any criticism welcome.  
> I know Matt seems pretty miserable right now but his new friends will be there for him and help him through his fathers death and mother’s trial.


	6. The sleepover part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt is in for a really tough night but he’s not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy

After a day full of laughter and talking Andy’s house had descended into silence, the only noise was the soft sound of Kelly snoring as he lead sprawled out next to Andy on the large air mattress on the floor, Shay was asleep on the sofa and Matt was led on a small air mattress near the front door. Matt’s body was aching and his eyelids felt heavier then concrete but he couldn’t let himself fall asleep, he was doing everything he could to prevent himself from falling victim to a cruel prank. Matt didn’t want to draw attention to himself by refusing to change into pyjamas so he changed when they did, however as soon as he was sure they had all fallen asleep he changed into normal clothes and put on his shoes. Therefore if he had to make a run for it he wouldn’t have to sprint down the street bare foot and in pyjamas . Matt was nervously hugging his bag to his chest, he had always been nervous in social situations because school was the only time his dad liked him leaving the house. Matt understood that his dad was just trying to protect him, he wasn’t ready to be part of the real world yet , he was annoying and pathetic , no one would ever want to be his friend, he would of been picked , his dad saved him from that embarrassment . His dad was preparing him for the harsh real world by teaching him how to deal with pain and disappointment, eventually he’d be a normal person and he would be able to keep his feelings to himself but he still had long way too go before he was a real man. But now his dad was dead he would be stuck as a wimp for the rest of his life.

Matt’s head began to sway when he saw a figure moving in the kitchen, he tried desperately to move his feet , to urge himself to get up and run but instead he huddled in on himself. As the figure got closer he felt his heart beating faster,  
“Having fun boy ?” Called a rough voice.nMatt kept his mouth clamped shut , he knew that voice.  
“What did you do boy? What makes you think you deserve happiness after everything you did ?” Growled the figure as they moved closer and crouched down in front of him. As Matt stared into the empty eyes in front of him he felt his blood run cold.  
“Why did you kill me boy? Why did you kill own father?”  
“I’m s-s-sorry” whimpered Matt,  
“Not sorry enough” screeched his dad as he reached out and violently wrapped his hands around Matt’s neck , Matt helplessly clawed at the hands around his neck and tried to scream out for help. Why hadn’t the others woken up? Maybe they had heard his dad but decided not to help ; after all he was getting what he deserved. 

Suddenly Matt felt himself being jolted awake, he frantically looked around the room but there was no trace of his father , then Matt realised he felt something wet and his heart sank. He was sixteen , if they didn’t think he was a freak before they definitely would now. Also if Andy’s parents found out they would be really mad , Matt remembered the last time he had an accident , his dad stripped him down to his underwear and hosed him down outside , after that he had to sleep in the cupboard for a week. He was petrified of what two strangers who didn’t love him would do. Matt got out of the sleeping bag he had borrowed and rolled it up , the mattress was wet too , he deflated it and stuffed it into his duffel bag. He decided it would be better if they thought he’d stolen it instead of knowing the truth. Matt darted for the door,  
“Matt are you ok?” A voice cut through the air, he around turned slowly to see a sleepy Kelly staring at him.  
“I have to go” stated Matt before turning away from Kelly and trying to open the door but it was locked , Matt dashed for the back door , he could see the key on the counter but as he moved towards it Kelly blocked his path.  
“Kelly please” pleaded Matt,  
“You can’t walk home alone in the middle of the night Matt”  
“I can’t stay “  
“Why Matt?”  
“Because I can’t”. Kelly was about to try and persuade Matt to sit down for a minute before he heard someone coming down the stairs. Matt urgently tried to push past Kelly but the taller stronger boy wouldn’t budge.  
“Hey is everything alright “ asked Andy’s dad Patrick as he approached the boy’s in the kitchen, he was a light sleeper and he’d heard the boys talking, it was three in the morning and the voices sounded distressed , he knew he had to step in.  
“Matt is everything ok?” Patrick inquired when neither of the boys spoke.  
“I want to go home”   
“Ok do you want me to drive you home ?”   
“No thank you , I’m fine on my own sir”  
“I’m sorry Matt I can’t let you go on your own”  
Matt began breathing heavily and yanking at his hair as he began pacing ,  
“I need to go” whimpered Matt, Patrick looked towards the living room where everyone else was sleeping and then back at the distraught boy in front of him.  
“Why don’t we go into Andy’s Mum’s study , we don’t have to worry about whispering there, we can talk properly” explained Patrick,  
“Come on Matt , the study is really warm and cozy , plus me and Andy aren’t normally alowed in there” urged Kelly. Reluctantly Matt followed Patrick to the study and Kelly finally moved away from the door.

As they moved into the study Patrick flicked on the light, they all squinted at the sudden brightness . As Kelly turned towards Matt he realised he was wearing normal clothes instead of pyjamas ; then he noticed a dark patch on Matt’s trousers.  
“Oh Matt , it doesn’t matter” comforted Kelly,  
“I want to go home” Matt stated ignoring the words of comfort.  
“I can drive you home Matt”  
“I don’t mind and if you prefer I’m sure Kelly won’t mind coming with us” added Patrick sensing Matt’s anxiety.  
“I don’t want to cause trouble”  
“It’s no trouble Matt”  
“I shouldn’t have come here”   
“No Matt we had loads of fun with you around” interrupted Kelly.  
“I’m sorry I ruined everything and woke you up”   
“No Matt you didn’t ruin anything” assured Kelly.  
“I’m pathetic “ cried Matt,  
“No you’re not Matt , accidents happen”   
“Matt why don’t you go to the bathroom and change into the clothes you wore yesterday, I’ll go put the sleeping bag in the washing machine and I’ll wash it first thing tomorrow, then we can talk more” suggested Patrick, he realised they weren’t getting anywhere with Matt , the poor boy was tired distraught and probably felt very uncomfortable, they needed him to calm down if they wanted to help him. Matt gave a small nod that he almost missed. Kelly led Matt to the bathroom and waited outside, when Matt reentered the hall Kelly gave him a warm smile,   
“I’m sorry for waking you up” Matt apologised for the fifth time.  
“It’s ok Matt , did you have a nightmare?” Asked Kelly, he took Matt’s silence as his answer,  
“I used to have nightmares when I first moved in with aunt Jane” Kelly paused and took a deep breath, he never talked about his parents not even with Andy.  
“My Dad left and it hurt my mum really bad , at first she’d pick me up in the middle of school to go to the cinema or the zoo , but then she started going away on holiday without telling anyone, leaving me behind or she’d spend all day in bed refusing to move, aunt Jane found out and helped my mum get treatment, she took me in. I thought it would only be for a month or two until mum got better” Kelly paused feeling tears stinging his eyes , he felt Matt looking at him but he kept his head down.  
“It’s been three years” whispered Kelly, he missed his mum . He loved living with aunt Jane but he wished he could stay with his mum and look after her . He should be there for her , she always seemed happy when she visited but Kelly knew it was all an act . Silent tears started rolling down his face , when he felt Matt hold his hand.  
“I’m sorry” Matt responded sincerely,  
“I miss my mum and it really hurts that my dad left but Andy and Shay helped me through it, when you’re ready you can always talk to us Matt”. Matt was exhausted mentally and physically, before he could stop himself he found the words rushing out,  
“I killed my dad”Matt sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and thank you for the kind comments.  
> Hope you have a good day.


	7. Exhausted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt’s broken and tired , he won’t last on his own for much longer. Luckily he’s not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy.

Kelly felt Matt’s hand shaking, he could hear his quick sharp breaths. Kelly’s own crying had subsided but he felt as if someone had slapped him across the face ; he knew something serious was bothering Matt but he never expected the blondes statement. Kelly squeezed Matt’s hand but all of the sudden he felt Matt pull away and he watched numbly as the blonde took off down the stairs. Matt pushed past a confused Patrick as he reached the kitchen, he grabbed the keys off the counter and was half way out of the backdoor when he felt something pulling him back, Patrick had grabbed the duffel bag that was slung over Matt’s shoulder. Matt shrugged the bag off and sprinted out of the house.Matt ran as fast as he could, he kept running even though his lungs were burning and his legs felt as if they would fall off , he only had a vague idea of where he was going but he didn’t care . He was running down a familiar street when his foot snagged on something and he felt himself colliding hard with the curb , he quickly stumbled back onto his feet. His side was on fire , he could feel a warm liquid trickling down his face and he felt a twinge of pain every time his left foot made contact with the floor. However the adrenaline whirling around his body kept him running.

Matt was about to collapse when he reached his house, his aunt’s car was parked outside , she must have been home. Matt realised bitterly he didn’t have his key but he didn’t knock the door , it was around five in the morning. He didn’t want to annoy his aunt by waking her up this early. Matt curled up on the doorstep waiting for the sun to rise. Matt couldn’t believe he’d screwed up so spectacularly, there was no way Kelly would still want to be his friend now.

Matt had been huddled on the doorstep for a few hours, he’d been getting strange looks from passerby’s and he could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment. His body stung and ached all over , there was a painful buzzing in his head but his fingers no longer turned red after touching the cut on his head. Matt was beginning to shake from the unforgiving cold Chicago air when the front door flew open, a tired looking man wearing a creased shirt and trousers, carrying his jacket stepped out onto the porch. His aunt followed the man out of the door and was about to kiss the stranger when she noticed him in a heap on the floor.  
“Matt! What the hell?” Screeched his aunt Lisa,  
“Sorry” mumbled Matt squirming under their intense stares ,  
“Get in the house” Lisa screeched as she grabbed him roughly by the arm and threw him inside.   
“Is he alright ?” asked the man   
“He’s fine” she gritted out before sighing,  
“I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ve got to go sort out my screwed up nephew” she yelled hoping Matt would hear her , she was beyond irritated.  
“Bye Lisa “ the stranger replied kissing her lightly on the cheek before taking off.

As she walked into the living room she spotted Matt nervously waiting by the stairs , she ignored him and dropped down defeatedly onto the sofa.   
“Damn it Matt , what am I supposed to do with you?” She asked before breaking into hollow laughter,  
“You can’t even survive going to a sleep over , what’s wrong with you?”  
Matt remained frozen in place,  
“Just get upstairs, I can’t stand to look at you for one more second” she sighed, not even glancing at him for a second.

Matt ran upstairs and into the bathroom locking the door behind him , he stripped down to his underwear and stepped in front of the mirror to asses the damage from his fall. He’d hit the curb with a lot of force , there was a gash on his head which had stopped bleeding but the right side of his face was covered in dry blood , he had large grazes on his left leg and arm , he also had a dark bruise forming on his side. He searched the cabinets for first aid supplies but found nothing. He began dabbing at the gash on his head with a piece of wet tissue, ignoring the agonising sting. The pain from his injuries was numbed by the feeling of his aunt’s words racing around his head , she was right. He needed his dad , he would know how to make Matt a better person.  
“Matt” a shy voice called out , shortly followed by a gentle knock on the door,  
“Matt , I’m sorry” called out Lisa in a weak voice.  
“It’s ok , you were right” responded Matt staring at his reflection in the mirror,  
“I am screwed up” Matt admitted brokenly.  
“No Matt your not screwed up , well maybe a little” she laughed as she sat down in the hall and leant against the wall.  
“But no one can blame you , after all the messed up things that happened” Lisa stated.  
“I’m sorry you got stuck with me” he apologised in a timid voice.  
“Matt you lost your father and I lost my brother. I love you , I always will but life’s different now, part of me hates you” she confessed , deep down Matt already knew she hated him but it hurt to have his suspicions confirmed.  
“Matt you look so much like your dad , but you act so much like your mother”  
“Every time I see you, your blonde hair, blue eyes ,lanky legs and arms , I see my brother . But you’re quiet and reserved, I never know what you’re thinking , you’re not confident and charismatic like he was, you’re just like your mother” she explained in an exhausted tone,  
“Your mother murdered the only person I trusted” she spit out .  
“I miss him , I wish she killed me instead” whimpered Matt as he slid down the bathroom wall.  
“Matt” Lisa began to comfort him but she was interrupted by Matt’s heartbroken rambling,  
“If I died mum wouldn’t be in prison you wouldn’t be avoiding your own house or crying yourself to sleep, Christie wouldn’t be so angry and sad” Matt cried.  
“Matt I’m sorry, I do love you. You’ll always be my goofy little nephew but I can’t look after you. You can live with me but I’m not your shoulder to cry on, you’re just a roommate, I can’t care about you”.  
“I should have died instead”repeated Matt.  
“But you didn’t , so quit your whining. You have a life don’t waste it” snapped Lisa.  
“Ok”  
“I’m going to make breakfast do you want something?” She asked lamely,  
“No thanks, I’m good” 

After a horrendous weekend Matt hobbled into school , his body had been engulfed by a dull ache , he’d found a plaster to cover the cut on his forehead , however he hadn’t managed to dress any of his other wounds. He hadn’t spoken to his aunt since their discussion the previous morning and he had spent the entire night sat in his wardrobe wide awake trying to block out the rest of the world. His stomach was rapidly tossing , he was terrified of seeing the trio again. Shay would be mad he ruined the sleepover, Kelly would know he was a freak and a murderer and Andy would be mad be left . Despite these worries his biggest fear was that Andy’s dad might have taken his anger at Matt out on Andy. Matt didn’t want to be the reason Andy got hurt.

Matt shuffled into his home room on time for once and collapsed into his seat, he was sweaty and panting for breath , he felt like he had sand in his joints , every single step required a mountain of effort. He felt Kelly sit down next to him but tightly closed his eyes and rested his head on the desk. 

The bell rang and Matt sluggishly removed his head from the desk, he was about to attempt to stumble to his feet , when he felt a figure towering over him. He knew it wasn’t Kelly as the older boy hadn’t left his seat yet.  
“Hey Matt” greeted Boden as he crouched down in front of Matt’s desk ,   
“Rough weekend?” inquired Boden sympathetically but Matt turned away from Boden , so he was facing Kelly who gave him a warm smile,   
“I’m sorry Kelly” Matt squeaked,  
“There’s nothing to be sorry for Matt, what happened to you?” Asked Kelly softly,  
“I tripped” declared Matt,  
“Matt-“  
“I got confused, it was dark, I thought you and Andy’s dad would be mad so I ran home but I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going” sighed Matt.  
“Oh Matt , none of us were mad we were just worried”  
“You don’t need to be worried, I’m fine”  
“Matt you don’t seem-“  
“I am fine” he yelled with what little strength he had,   
“Ok Matt I believe you , is it ok if I take you to the nurse to get that cut checked out” cut in Boden in a gentle tone.  
“No, I don’t deserve help”   
“Matt is this because of what you told me before you took off” asked Kelly.  
“I’m a murderer” cried Matt,  
“No Matt, what happened to your father wasn’t your fault” comforted boden, but Matt ignored him and felt his guilt turn to anger. He pushed himself out of his chair but immediately felt all of the fight drain out of him, he backed himself into the corner of the classroom , desperately trying to make himself disappear. Boden felt his heart shatter at the scene in front of him. Boden had been a teacher for a very long time and had seen many kids having a tough time but Matt was different. He felt a need to protect the distraught teen. As well as the plaster partially covering a nasty cut, Matt also had dark rings around his eyes , he was pale , skinny and he looked like a ghost or a prisoner who’d been on a hunger strike.   
Boden knelt in front of Matt and Kelly cautiously sat down next to Matt ensuring he wasn’t too close to him. Kelly really wanted to comfort his friend but he knew If Matt felt crowded he’d only get even more upset. Matt began whimpering to himself,  
“It’s my fault , I wasn’t good enough. It’s my fault” repeated the blonde , he began to rock back and forth , his frail body slamming against the wall ,   
“It’s my fault”  
“How is it your fault?” Inquired Boden softly, Matt stilled and stared at the teacher before he continued rocking back and forth , slightly slower this time.  
“I drove mum to it”.  
Kelly went to comfort the blonde but bit his tongue ,he knew there was no way it was really Matt’s fault but he also knew if he wanted to console the blonde he had to find out why he blamed himself first.  
“I ruined their marriage, I’m pathetic, mum didn’t understand ”.  
“What do you mean Matt?” Asked Boden ,he’d read Matt’s file and the police reports from the incident but he wanted to hear Matt’s side of the story. He was pretty sure Matt hadn’t shared his version of events with anyone yet.  
“I was a mistake. But dad tried to fix me , teach me to be a real man. But mum was weak too and she didn’t like dad teaching me to be better”   
“Better?” Croaked out Kelly,  
“I’m a big baby , I cry too much and I care too much. I need to learn to ignore pain , I need to learn to be stronger” replied Matt in an emotionless tone , he was clearly repeating words he’d been told before.  
“Matt you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met”said Boden but Matt shook his head and his rocking sped up.  
“What happened Matt?” Asked Kelly,  
“I left my key on the table after visiting dad” cried Matt,  
“I drove mum to insanity and then I left the key out” explained Matt,  
“What happened after you left the key out?”  
Matt’s rocking stopped and he began tugging at his hair , his heart was beating thunderously in his chest. Kelly wouldn’t want to be friends with him after the truth came out, but it was too late to stop now. His head was throbbing and pain was violently shooting through the left side of his body but the pain was the only thing stopping him from collapsing on the floor crying.  
“M-m-mum she, she ..” , Matt lifted his head and stared at the ceiling his voice was distant now and his body was completely still, it was as if he was a robot.  
“She took my key and she went to Dad’s house and she shot him” weeped Matt.  
Kelly froze , his dad broke his mum’s heart but he could never imagine them physically hurting each other.  
Matt’s violent rocking became faster ,he was shaking and his skin looked clammy. Boden couldn’t continue to listen to the loud sound of Matt’s body hitting the wall , he carefully moved an arm behind Matt’s back preventing him from making contact with the wall , weakly Matt began pummelling Boden with his fists but as his body grew heavier and his side was engulfed in a burning agony he collapsed onto Boden whining in distress. Boden carefully shifted the fragile boy onto his lap and rubbed Matt’s back trying to calm him down.  
“Kelly can you run ahead to the nurse and tell her to get ready to treat Matt, then come straight back ” whispered Boden.  
Kelly sprinted out of the room leaving Boden alone with the devastated boy. Once Matt’s whimpers died down and Boden slowly stood to his feet with Matt still in his arms , Matt was too light for his age. Kelly returned and held the door open for Boden as he carried Matt to the nurse’s office. As Kelly watched Boden with Matt he felt completely helpless, Matt was in a lot more pain than he suspected but at least now Matt wouldn’t be battling his demons on his own. Boden and Kelly would be there for Matt every step of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	8. Hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt’s injuries are worse than Boden suspected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I hope you enjoy,
> 
> Possible trigger warning- minor mentions or eating problems.

Carefully Boden leant down to place Matt on the cot in the nurse’s office but the blonde clung tightly onto him and continued to sob,  
“Alright Matt, I won’t leave you ”promised Boden , sitting himself down on the cot with Matt still huddled in his lap.   
“Hi sweetie I’m Nurse Lockwood but everyone calls me Maggie” greeted the friendly nurse as she approached Matt, her voice was gentle and soothing, there was a kind warmth in her eyes and she wore a comforting smile.  
“Do you mind if I take a look at that nasty cut on your head” Maggie asked in a a light hearted tone. However as she moved her hand towards Matt’s head the blonde buried his face in Boden’s shoulder.   
“Please Matt let Maggie have look at it” urged Boden. Despite Maggie’s and Boden’s pleading and reassurances Matt wouldn’t let her examine his head , he was becoming increasingly distressed and he began to weep again. As Maggie and Boden were busy calming Matt down they didn’t notice his trouser leg riding up as he weakly thrashed, revealing a nasty graze covering his leg.  
“Nurse Maggie he has a horrible graze on his left leg too” announced Kelly from where he had been silently lingering by the door, he noticed the graze marring Matt’s skin straight away.  
Matt briefly looked up , he had forgotten about Kelly. He trusted the boy more than he’d trusted anyone else in his whole life but he was sure after everything that had happened Kelly would want nothing to do with him , yet Kelly hadn’t left. Kelly was only sticking around because it was entertaining to watch Matt breakdown and it meant he could avoid class thought Matt sadly, however a tiny part of Matt was hopeful that it was because Kelly really was his friend. But who was he kidding, freaks like Matt didn’t have friends. After making eye contact with Kelly he pressed his head back against Boden’s shoulder. Maggie turned her attention away from Matt’s head and to the injury Kelly had pointed out,  
“How about I take a look at your leg first Matt?” Asked Maggie, meanwhile boden mouthed a thank you to Kelly. Matt gave a tiny nod , Maggie slowly pulled up Matt’s trouser leg careful not to irritate the graze. His leg was a mix of crimson blood, broken skin and dirt. The graze stretched from just above his ankle to his knee ,large chunks of gravel and dirt were invading the graze, Matt hadn’t managed to clean the grazes the day before, it hurt too much and he felt drained after the sleepover. Maggie grabbed a cloth and a bottle of saline solution and began dabbing at the leg. Matt elicited sharp hisses at the contact ,Boden gently rubbed Matt’s right arm and began whispering reassurances in his ear. Eventually Maggie finished cleaning the graze and placed a stark white bandage over it.   
“Hey Matt have you got any more injuries I need to know about?” Inquired Maggie but the blonde didn’t respond, accepting that Matt wasn’t going to admit to the extent of his injuries Kelly decided he had to speak up for his battered friend.  
“He was sitting awkwardly in class, I think his side or ribs might be hurting and he kept his left arm by his side , instead of leaning on it like he normally does” informed Kelly, he felt bad for ratting his friend out but Matt’s health was more important than his trust in Kelly.   
“Ok Matt arm or side first ?” Asked Maggie but once again Matt remained silent,  
“Please Matt this will go a lot faster if you cooperate” urged Boden, begrudgingly Matt sat up ,he shifted slightly resting his back against Borden's chest and offered Maggie his arm , she tried to roll up his sleeve but it was impossible to do so without aggravating the wound , she glanced at Boden and he nodded softly before she had chance to ask the question on the tip of her tongue.  
“Matt I’m sorry , I hope this isn’t your favourite t-shirt. I need to cut it off to asses your injuries better” explained Maggie, Matt nodded minutely as she fetched a pair of scissors.  
“Don’t worry Matt, I’ve got your duffel bag in my locker , you left it at Andy’s house , I can grab one of your t-shirts out of it once this is all over” comforted Kelly. Matt felt his face turning red as Maggie cut his t shirt away , he was in such a mess, he was making a scene and wasting their time. As Matt’s shredded t-shirt was discarded Maggie and Boden shared a worried look , Matt’s ribs were visible but weren’t protruding out yet , he was bordering underweight. If left unaddressed he’d probably reach a dangerous weight but thankfully at this stage with their intervention and help he should be alright. Neither of the adults said anything as they knew it would be a delicate issue they would handle sensitively after all his injuries had been seen too. Matt felt ashamed as he felt their stares scrutinising him ,he wasn’t trying to loose weight he just wasn’t hungry anymore. Matt never felt like eating or sleeping anymore and his aunt was never there to force him to do those things, in all honesty Matt didn’t feel like doing anything anymore, the only reason he went to school was because his aunt said she’d get in trouble if he didn’t go. The only thing that made it easier to attend school was Kelly,Shay and Andy but now he’d pushed them away.

Matt had a large dark angry bruise covering most of his left side , Maggie suspected he might of cracked some of his ribs too, also he had a large graze on his arm similar to the one on his leg.  
“Oh Matt you’ve had a really rough weekend haven’t you” commented Maggie as she repeated the cleaning process on his arm. Once she finished she returned her attention to the cut on his head, this time Matt didn’t hide away and kept his head still as she examined him,  
“Matt I can clean the wound but you need stitches and I’m pretty sure you’ve broken a few ribs”she summarised.  
“That means you’re going to have to take a trip to the ER Matt” announced Boden gently.  
“No I can’t” pleaded Matt , he despised hospitals , he’d broken a few bones over the years and he remembered the long waits , noisy halls and his dads fury at the large bill. His aunt hated him already, if she had to leave work early and pay for his stitches she might even abandon him at the hospital.  
“I’m sorry Matt it’s not up for debate we have a duty of care to ensure nothing bad happens to you” replied Boden. Matt wanted to scream in frustration, why wouldn’t they just leave him alone, why didn’t they understand he wasn’t worth the trouble?  
“Don’t deserve the help” sobbed Matt as hot tears streamed down his face , he was such a disappointment he could imagine his dad’s look of disgust as he looked down on Matt.   
“It’s ok Matt everything will be alright, I’ll speak to the principal and I’m sure I can take you to the hospital” comforted Boden. Matt felt his stomach lurch , he was petrified of his Aunt kicking him out.  
“I can’t she already hates me” cried Matt,  
“I don’t want to be an inconvenience, I’m sorry for wasting your time , I should go” rambled Matt as he unexpectedly pushed himself off the cot , as his feet hit the ground the room began to spin and his legs turned to jelly, he felt pain jolt through him ; his knees buckled but Maggie caught him before he hit the solid ground , she slowly lowered him to the floor and turned him onto his uninjured side when he began dry heaving, after all he had nothing in his stomach to throw up. As the dry heaving ceased his head began to throb and every noise felt like someone drilling into his skull. The pain was suffocating him , his head was on fire and his throat felt like sand paper. Maggie was rubbing circles on his back, meanwhile Kelly was knelt down by Matt’s head talking softly to him. The sound of Matt’s uneven breathing was drowned out by the high pitch keening sounds he was making.   
“We need to get him to the hospital” stated Maggie in an even tone, Boden reached down and scooped Matt up into his arms once again, as Boden was about to rush out of the room Matt’s voice shook him out of his thoughts,  
“Kelly” the broken boy cried,  
“Do you mind coming with us?” Asked Boden as he turned to Kelly,  
“Of course not” replied Kelly immediately, Boden felt Matt’s rigid body relax slightly in his arms.  
The anxious boy followed Boden to his car. Matt had lost consciousness the moment they stepped outside, Boden placed Matt in the back seat of the car with Kelly sat next to him holding his hand. Maggie stayed behind to explain the situation to the headmaster and she needed to stay just in case another child had an accident during the day.Boden drove to the hospital as fast as he could. Matt’s condition wasn’t urgent but he definitely needed checking over. As Kelly looked at Matt , his friend looked so fragile and afraid, he was still missing his t-shirt and from this angle Kelly could see goosebumps covering Matt’s body , he must have been freezing. Kelly took off his jacket and draped it over the blonde . His friend had been through hell but from now on he’d always have Kelly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> sorry it’s not very realistic.  
> I promise there will be more Andy and Shay soon and Kelly will talk more about his parents.  
> Thanks again and have a great day.


	9. Snapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelly and Boden will do anything to protect the broken blonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi thank you for reading I hope you enjoy.

Kelly anxiously sat with a drowsy Matt leaning against him, they were waiting for a doctor to see to Matt.Through the bustling crowds of people Kelly could see Boden pacing , he was explaining the situation to the school guidance councillor over the phone, they hadn’t managed to contact Matt’s Aunt yet .Kelly’s was growing impatient, the waiting room was cramped and stuffy. Kelly glanced over at Matt, he was worried about the injured blonde , he seemed lost and hurt , Kelly would have done anything to take away Matt’s pain. He didn’t know what it felt like to have to bury one parent and watch the other suffer in prison but he did know how it felt to watch a parent suffer and fall apart because of the other one.

Sluggishly Matt opened his eyes and smiled weakly at Kelly,  
“Mmm sorry for dragging you into my mess” apologised Matt,  
“Matt you’re my friend, your mess is my mess” laughed Kelly as he shoved the blonde gently. Matt was about to protest but the lights in the waiting room made his head throb, he tightly screwed his eyes closed desperately trying to urge the pain to disappear.  
“Shouldn’t be much longer” comforted Boden as he returned from his dead end phone call, he sat next to Matt and offered Kelly a grin , he was worried about Matt but he was also immensely proud of how supportive and mature Kelly was being.

After what felt like an eternity Matt was led into a small cubicle , the doctor was old and tired looking but he wore a bright friendly smile.  
“Hi Matthew I’m doctor Turner ,that’s a nasty looking cut” he commented as he sat in front of Matt.   
“How are you feeling? Have you got a headache or have you been feeling nauseous?” he asked. Matt nodded but instantly regretted it as the pain in his head spiked.   
“I’m sorry Matthew I need you to keep your eyes open for me” Dr Turner asked as he shone a bright light in Matt’s eyes, Matt felt like someone had hit him with a shovel, he let out an involuntary groan at the pain.  
“Well Mathew I don’t think you have a concussion. Let me see to that cut then we’ll talk some more”   
Promptly Dr Turner began cleaning then wound, Kelly chatting animatedly to Matt in an attempt to distract him from the sting. Once it was clean the doctor applied butterfly stitches, he then glanced at Boden and Kelly before turning back to Matt.  
“I need to ask Matthew some more questions ,would you mind giving us some privacy?” requested Dr Turner.  
“No, please can they stay” Matt asked panicked , if they left the room they might run off and leave him at the hospital. He liked having them there, he liked having people who cared about him or at least pretended to care. Also when his aunt arrived she’d be annoyed , Matt hoped if other people were around she might remain calm.   
“Have you been sleeping well lately Matthew?”  
“It’s Matt” replied Matt rudely trying to dodge the question.  
“Ok Matt, what did you have for breakfast? ” Dr Turner inquired gently, Matt turned his head away , he was too tired to lie but the truth would raise too many questions.   
“Ah Matt, I think you’re just a very tired young man, hopefully after a decent rest and something to eat you should start to feel better” informed the doctor. Matt was blushing in embarrassment , when the doctor finally told them they were free to go , Boden had filled in all the forms for Matt already.  
“Come on lets go” announced Boden steering the boys out of the chaotic hospital, as soon as the tired boys were settled in the car he called the school again. Boden felt disheartened as he hang up the phone , Matt’s aunt was busy at work she asked them to drop him back off at school for the rest of the day. Boden looked at his watch there was three hours remaining of the school day, he felt dreadful having to return the aching boy to school. 

The drive passed by with Kelly filling the silence as Matt pressed his head against the cold window, as the car arrived at the school Matt groaned internally, he wanted to sleep for days not attend english class. Once he parked the car Boden peered into the backseat ,  
“Kelly take Matt to the library, don’t worry I will tell your teachers why you’ve missed class” promised Boden, if he had it his way he would of driven Matt home but he was under strict orders to return Matt to school. The boys lethargically left the car,  
“Oh and Kelly If you were to leave the library before the end of school no one would know” called Boden as he winked at Kelly,  
“Just wait for lunch to finish so you don’t get caught” whispered Boden before rushing to his class.  
Kelly retrieved Matt’s duffel bag from his locker and Matt pulled on his pyjama t-shirt , he was thankful Kelly had let him keep his jacket, it was warm and cozy.

After staring emptily at a book for half an hour Kelly shook Matt’s shoulder, the blonde’s head had been firmly pressed against the table.  
“Hey Matt lets get out of here” Kelly stated as Matt dizzily looked up at him.

The walk home was tiresome, Matt’s head still ached but worse of all he felt ashamed . He admired Boden he was the first teacher he’d ever trusted but now Boden would know what a lowlife he was. Matt had definitely disappointed his father , he’d broken down in front of people, everyone knew he was a wimp. Matt was pulled out of his thoughts when he reached his street , he hadn’t even realised Kelly was still with him.  
“Why didn’t you go home?” Inquired Matt as he became aware of Kelly’s presence.  
“I’m not leaving you until I know you’re safe” announced Kelly in a voice that left no room for negotiations,  
“Oh , well this is it” mumbled Matt pointing to his aunts house.  
“Thank you for everything” Matt said sincerely as he started up the steps, confusion hitting him as Kelly followed.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I’m not sure you’re safe yet’ responded Kelly with a smirk, Matt rolled his eyes but didn’t protest as he had already learnt how stubborn Kelly was. Matt pushed open the door to reveal his aunt kissing the strange man from the day before on the sofa.  
“Damn it Matt , you’re supposed to be at school” shrieked his aunt leaping off the sofa and marching towards him.  
“I’m sorry” squeaked Matt.  
“I don’t care Matt” she yelled, Lisa had been having a great day ,she’d taken the afternoon off to spend time with her boyfriend but now Matt was ruining it , like he ruined everything.  
All the anger in her body evaporated as she took in his broken state , she hated her sister in law for screwing up Matt but it wasn’t her mess to fix.  
“Oh Matt I just don’t know what to do with you anymore” she sighed as she reached out cupping   
Matt’s cheek , ignoring how he flinched at the movement.  
“I can’t do this Matt , I can’t”   
“I’ll be better” promised Matt his voice rising in panic.  
“No you won’t Matt” she said as she backed away from him, her boyfriend ambled into the kitchen ignoring the scene unfolding.  
“Your mum hasn’t even been sentenced yet, if you’re like this now how on earth will you survive that?” She bitterly laughed sitting down on the stairs, glaring at Matt, he began to shake and his heart plummeted as he felt Kelly’s presence disappear.  
“Please I’ll stay out of the way”  
“Well you did a good job of doing that today” sniped Lisa.  
“Please I don’t want to go into foster care” begged Matt,  
“Gosh you only think of yourself, it won’t be that bad and anyway I’ll get my life back, why should we both miserable when I have a chance of happiness”  
“But I’m happy here”  
“No you’re not, I hear you crying at night”. Matt stared open mouthed at his aunt , he tried to be good but even his aunt despised him, she was kind and charitable , she’d do anything to help anyone but Matt had pushed her over the edge too. Matt stood numbly in the door way , he had no idea where to go , he had no one.  
“Matt lets go” a soft voice whispered in his ear , Matt turned to see Kelly smiling supportively at him.  
“You’re staying with me , no arguments” announced Kelly as he lead Matt out of the house , his aunt followed them out.  
“Matt” she called, he felt a jolt of hope, maybe she was going to give him a second chance after all.  
“Don’t come back”, Matt felt his body go cold , Kelly’s offer was only for one night ; then Matt would be on his own , he’d be homeless.  
“Let’s go Matt” coaxed Kelly,  
“Aunt Jane is cooking spaghetti bolognese tonight, it’s the best” informed Kelly excitedly as they approached his house.  
Matt felt warmth envelop him as they entered Kelly’s cozy humble home ,   
“Hey Matt lets see what’s on tv” suggested Kelly as he guided Matt to the sofa. Matt tried desperately to concentrate on the vibrant images on the screen but his aunt’s words whizzed round his head , his limbs felt heavier than concrete and his eyelids were drooping. 

Slowly Matt peeled open his eyes , he felt something snug and fluffy draped over him ,It was like a warm hug , Matt never wanted to loose the comfort . As he sat up he realised the tv had been switched off and the source of the comfort was a large thick blue blanket covered in stars. Matt subconsciously began stroking the blanket as his eyes searched around the room , all of the sudden he felt the sofa dip.  
“Hey Matt” greeted a gentle voice, it was Kelly’s aunt Jane.  
“Dinner will be ready soon and Kelly’s busy cleaning his room and setting up the inflatable mattress” she explained warmly.  
“You don’t have to do any of that” Matt rambled.  
“No but we want too” she replied slowly placing a hand on Matt’s uninjured arm, Kelly had informed her of the grazes. When she received the frantic call from Kelly while he was stood outside Matt’s house , she hadn’t hesitated in telling Kelly to bring the blonde home , from the moment he had brought the blonde over for dinner she felt the need to protect him.  
“You can stay as long as you like Matt , you’re always welcome here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.


	10. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will an unwanted visitor bring Matt, Jane and Kelly closer together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I hope you enjoy. Thank you again for the kind comments.  
> Have a good day : )

Two weeks had passed since Kelly and Jane had taken Matt in. Kelly’s aunt Jane treated Matt as if he’d always lived there. Jane was nothing like Matt’s mother she was funny and loud , the house was never quiet and she liked to know what was going on in Matt’s and Kelly’s lives. Where as his mother preferred Matt to stay in his room and dinner was always eaten silence. Matt liked living at Kelly’s house but he knew it wouldn’t be long until something went wrong, they’d realise how pathetic Matt was and kick him out or aunt Jane would snap like his mum did , he didn’t want Kelly or Jane to get hurt because of him. But Matt drove everyone to the edge it was only a matter of time.

Matt was anxiously walking home alone , Kelly had hockey practice so Matt was on his own. As he approached the house there was an unfamiliar blue car parked right outside, apprehensively Matt opened the front door careful not to make too much noise.Matt dreaded the days he went home alone, aunt Jane worked from home most days and Matt constantly worried about upsetting or disturbing her. He was conflicted between hiding in his room or helping around the house , he never knew what Jane expected of him , Kelly always helped calm Matt down and advise him what was best to do. However as Matt entered the house he realised aunt Jane wasn’t alone, a tall familiar looking man was sat next to her, he recognised him from an old photo in Kelly’s room , he was Kelly’s Father. Aunt Jane looked annoyed but as soon as she saw Matt her expression softened.  
“Hi Matt this is Benny, Kelly’s dad” informed Jane,  
“Hello , nice to meet you sir” greeted Matt in a formal tone.  
“Drop the sir Matt , you can call me Benny” , Matt nodded nervously. He turned to Jane with pure fear in his eyes,  
“I-is Kelly leaving?” Matt asked sombrely.  
“No Matt, don’t worry” assured Jane.  
“I’m not here to take Kelly away, I just wanted to check on my son” explained Benny , stating the last part in a firmer tone as he glared at Jane. Matt gulped before moving slightly so he was stood in the space between Benny and Jane. Benny was oblivious to the reasons behind the movement but Jane knew straight away what Matt was doing and it made her heart sink.  
“Hey Matt why don’t you go upstairs and get a head start on your home work” she suggested lightly, she hadn’t wanted to give the instruction knowing Matt would misinterpret it as a punishment but Matt was clearly already getting upset and she was worried he’d get worse if he remained downstairs .Matt hated disobeying Jane but he didn’t want to leave her alone with Benny.  
“Matt please” pleaded Jane as Matt remained firmly in place.   
“It’s ok , the boy can stay. Sit down Matt” urged Benny tapping the spot on the sofa next to him. Reluctantly Matt sat in the empty space between Jane and Benny.  
“So Jane didn’t have a chance to tell me a lot about you, do you like sports?” Questioned Benny , hoping Matt would calm down if they talked.  
“Yes sir” replied Matt as he instinctively reached for the fleecy blanket draped over the sofa. When he was little he had a blue blanket he used to carry everywhere, he’d had it since birth and whenever he was upset or afraid he’d cling onto it tightly, until one day in a rage his father yanked it out of his grasp and threw it into the fire.  
“Are you on any teams ?” Asked Benny, deciding to ignore Matt calling him sir.  
“No sir” stated Matt quickly, he knew he wasn’t supposed to waste his time playing sports, he had to spend all of his time on school work , he didn’t deserve to have fun.  
“Ok ,well do you mind if I join you for dinner when Kelly returns home?” Queried Benny, Matt glanced at Jane silently asking for her approval , she gently shook her head.  
“ Not tonight Benny” answered Jane looking pointedly at Benny.  
“Sorry sir” croaked Matt.  
“That’s ok kid” he replied softly, the living room lapsed into an awkward uncomfortable silence. Matt was on edge , Jane was irritated because Benny had turned up unannounced and Benny just wanted to see his son. The silence was broken by the front door swinging open and a worn out Kelly traipsing into the house.  
“Hey kiddo” greeted Benny standing up, heading towards his son.  
“Dad” croaked out a surprised Kelly, shock was plastered on his face. After gaping at Benny for a while Kelly shook his head and his expression became blank. He was trying desperately to appear unaffected by his father’s appearance.  
“Come on Matt lets go upstairs” announced Kelly nonchalantly as he turned towards Matt.  
“Kelly please , I just wanted to see you” explained Benny.  
“Why? You’ve visited five times in the last three years. Why are you visiting this time?”questioned Kelly brokenly.  
“Kelly I’m sorry, I want to make it up to you” promised Benny,  
“That’s what you said last time , you pretend you care then you disappear”   
“Kelly please I”  
“I don’t care , I don’t need you anymore” yelled Kelly before darting up the stairs, Matt was torn between following his upset friend and protecting Jane. Benny was vexed now , Matt didn’t want to risk Benny taking his anger out on Jane. Matt stood up blocking Benny's view of Jane , his fists were tightly clenched , his breathing was heavy and Jane could see him shaking. She stood up and placed her hands on his shoulders ignoring his initial flinch,  
“ I think you should go Benny” stated Jane in a firm but quiet tone as she comfortingly squeezed Matt’s shoulders. Benny reluctantly left and Jane let go of Matt who immediately moved towards the stairs ,  
“Tell Kelly I’m ordering pizza for dinner” Jane called out after the blonde.

Kelly was led on his bed with his head dangling over the edge when he heard the door creak open, he sprung up and grabbed a book off his bedside table pretending to read it. Matt walked in and collapsed onto the air bed on the opposite side of the room.  
“I hate Tuesdays” groaned Matt, he had a feeling it would be a rough day from the moment he woke up.  
“Me too” huffed Kelly,  
“Aunt Jane is ordering pizza” informed Matt.  
“Huh I guess this Tuesday wasn’t so bad” laughed Kelly.  
“I’m sorry about”  
“Matt it’s not your fault” interrupted Kelly.  
“But thank you for being there for me” stated Kelly in a lighter tone.  
“Thanks for taking me in Kelly” declared Matt ,Kelly promptly picked up a pillow and lobbed it at Matt.  
“What was that for?” Moaned Matt chuckling softly as the pillow flew past his head hitting the wall.  
“When are you going to learn you’re part of this family now, we needed you as much as you needed us” admitted Kelly.  
“Now onto serious business, let’s go stop aunt Jane from ordering Hawaiian pizza” announced Kelly dropping the book and heading for the door.  
“You know you were reading the book upside down right?” Laughed Matt,  
“Oh shut up” grunted Kelly punching Matt playfully in the shoulder.

Tuesday turned out to be a good day after all, they watched a cheesy disaster film and filled up on pepperoni pizza. Kelly still looked tense and Matt caught him glancing frequently at the front door but there was a warm smile on his face. Kelly was sandwiched between Matt and Jane, Matt still insisted on sitting close to the front door but he no longer kept his shoes on or kept his duffel bag by the front door like he did the first week he stayed with Kelly. As Jane looked over at the two smiling teens bickering about how realistic the film was she knew she’d do anything to protect them , they were her boys.

When Matt walked into Kelly’s room a few days later the air bed was gone, it had been replaced by a new bed which stood proudly opposite Kelly’s bed, he felt as if he was dreaming. He was afraid if he reached out to touch the bed it would disappear.There was a new bedside table placed next to it and a picture frame placed on top , it was a photo of him and Christie he had hidden under his pillow. The photo was taken during Matt’s first trip to the beach when he was five years old, one of the few times they were happy.Suddenly he spotted something that made the warm feeling spreading over him intensify there was a blue blanket on the bed identical to the one downstairs except for one detail , as he moved towards it and stroked the soft material he noticed his name was embroidered neatly in the corner.  
“Welcome home Matt” Kelly and Jane cheered in unison before pulling Matt into a big hug as the blonde burst into tears. He had a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> I’m sorry Matt’s extremely out of character but I imagined he’d be different after loosing his dad, he’s still grieving.   
> Promise shay and Andy will return soon.  
> Thanks again for reading.


	11. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As one of Matt’s worst nightmares come true will Kelly and Boden be able to comfort the blonde?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the story so far,  
> Hope you enjoy.

Matt and Shay gleefully walked into the canteen , Matt was laughing wildly as Shay was recounting the time Andy got stuck in the baby swings at the park. However the smiles on their faces promptly disappeared as they saw Andy anxiously running towards them.  
“I forgot to do my english homework, help me do it quickly in the library” begged Andy.  
“Since when do you care about homework?” Shay asked sceptically.  
“It’s really important this time” Andy lied. But Matt wasn’t listening, he could feel eyes burning into him, as he looked away from Andy he saw everyone staring at him, some people were pointing, others were laughing but the people that bothered him the most were the ones staring at him with fear. Andy tugged on Matt’s arm,  
“Come on Matt I’ve got homework to do” urged Andy. However Matt was frozen in place he felt Shay wrap an arm around him desperately trying to pull him out of the room, when a red headed boy Matt recognised as one of Griffin’s friends leapt up out of his seat and pointed at him,  
“Murderer” he screamed. Matt felt the ground under him collapse. The walls were closing on him and he felt exposed as he stood in the middle of the canteen. He felt tears stinging his eyes and he began tugging at his sleeve.  
“Awww are you going to cry?” Mocked Griffin walking towards Matt with his slimy friends,  
“Go home and cry to mummy, oh wait you can’t” taunted Griffin. Matt clenched his fists and his knuckles turned a stark white. Griffin was holding something in his hands , a newspaper.  
“What are you going to do kill me ? Maybe you’ll end up in prison just like mummy” laughed Griffin holding the newspaper up, his mother’s mugshot was plastered on the front.  
“You look similar, you both have a cold stony look in your eyes. You’re both freaks” stated Griffin in a vicious tone. As Griffin held up the paper he saw something that made his heart plummet, above his mother’s picture were the words “ Nancy Casey jailed for fifteen years” pasted above it. He didn’t even know the trial had started, he had refrained from searching it up on the internet, not wanting to read nasty lies about his family but he was positive his aunt or even Jane would tell him when the trial started. Matt felt anger coursing threw his veins, he took away his mother’s freedom . Without warning he launched his fist at Griffin knocking him to the floor. Matt stood over Griffin staring at the blood dripping out of Griffin’s nose , Griffin stumbled to his feet and wasted no time in roughly shoving Matt, he recovered quickly and lunged at Griffin. Suddenly Matt felt firm hands grasping his arms, pulling him off the bully. Matt kicked out his legs and flailed his arms about , trying to break free.  
“She’s not a freak” screamed Matt as he continued squirming in the firm grasp.  
“Calm down kid” urged the person holding him. Matt eventually gave in as panic settled over him , he’d messed up. Aunt Jane would be fuming at his outburst , she might even kick him out.  
The person led Matt out into the hallway, it was the gym teacher Mr Herrmann, Matt didn’t know him that well but Kelly had said he was a good guy, he appeared strict but he cared a lot about his students. Matt’s body went limp and he allowed Herrmann to lead him towards the headmasters office. He settled Matt in an uncomfortable chair before crouching down in front of him.  
“Are you alright Kid?” He asked gently but Matt’s eyes were unfocused and his body was still as a statue, he was borderline catatonic.  
“Ok, I’ll be right back Kid” promised Herrmann before he took off in search of Boden, he knew Boden had taken the blonde under his wing. He’d seen Matt around the school hanging out with Kelly and Andy. Herrmann had a soft spot for the two trouble makers , they were mischievous but deep down they both had hearts of gold , unlike them Matt was quiet as a mouse and abided by the rules but he shared the boys sense of humour, the boy was also loyal to a fault he frequently tried to take the blame for Kelly and Andy .Herrmann reached Boden’s class , the teacher was currently supervising lunchtime detention. As he entered the class room he was surprised to see Kelly sat in the corner, Hermann gestured outside to Boden who quickly followed.  
“Is everything alright Hermann?”   
“Matt Casey got into a fight, he seems pretty shook up”  
“What happened?” Sighed boden,  
“Ted Griffin was giving him a hard time about his mum” explained Hermann solemnly.  
“Damn it , I should have kept a better eye on Matt” groaned Boden , he’d seen the article about Matt’s mother in the paper but the boy seemed happy, he assumed Matt was coping well but he must have been wrong.  
“It’s not your fault” reasoned Herrmann ,  
“Listen I’ll take over from detention, you go see to Matt” Hermann offered after a moment of silence.  
“Thank you Hermann” replied Boden. He began heading towards Matt when he stopped mid stride,  
“Can you send Kelly out?” Asked Boden, Hermann nodded and disappeared into the class.

Boden quickly relayed everything he knew to Kelly on the way to the office but that didn’t stop the teen from asking a million questions.  
“ I should have been there” sighed Kelly, he’d gotten detention for mouthing off at a teacher. Kelly normally behaved well but after Benny’s visits it wasn’t uncommon for him to get in trouble.  
“There’s no point looking back Kelly, let’s just focus on helping Matt” comforted Boden.  
When they reached Matt he was as white as a sheet and gazing emptily at a spot of the wall , his knuckles were grazed but he hadn’t sustained any other injuries.   
“Hey Matt I’m sorry I wasn’t there” apologised Kelly kneeling in front of Matt but the blonde remained still. Matt remained silent despite Kelly’s and Boden’s attempts at comforting him.  
“She was sentenced to prison for fifteen years” mumbled Matt to no one in particular.  
“She doesn’t deserve that” whispered Matt,  
“It was my fault not hers” he continued brokenly. Kelly felt his heart shatter , not just because the blonde blamed himself but because he knew no matter what he said Matt would never change his mind. Kelly was about to disagree with Matt when his aunt Jane came dashing in. She kneeled down next to Kelly but as she reached out to comfort Matt tears began streaking down his face . Matt didn’t care about Griffin or getting trouble, he was being suffocated by the crushing guilt of his mother’s imprisonment. Before she had chance to speak the headmaster called Matt and Jane into his office.

Matt hadn’t uttered a word during the meeting , the principal was sympathetic of his situation but couldn’t tolerate fighting, therefore Matt got a two day suspension. But that didn’t ease Matt’s agony , he got two days of staying at home but his mother got fifteen years of sitting in a tiny dark cell. He’d lost both of his parents now.

As Jane and Matt arrived home she steered Matt to the sofa,  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that the trial had started, I didn’t want you to have to worry about something you couldn’t control, but I promise I didn’t find out about her sentence until after you’d left for school, I’m sorry Matt. I should have been honest” she apologised.  
“It’s ok” croaked Matt.

Matt had remained silent for the rest of the day , even after Kelly arrived home he remained mute. He barely ate dinner and as soon as the plates were washed and dried he retreated to his room. Aunt Jane had prevented Kelly from following, reminding him that Matt probably needed some space. Kelly was desperate to help the distraught blonde but he knew not to push him. He wished Matt a goodnight as he climbed into bed but the blonde remained buried under the duvet shutting Kelly out. 

Kelly woke unexpectedly, as he wiped the sleep from his eyes he realised why he had woken up, sorrowful whimpers filled the dark room. Kelly climbed out of bed and approached the blonde tentatively.  
“Matty it’s going to be ok” comforted Kelly but deep sobs continued to rack the blondes body. Kelly gently rubbed Matt’s back trying to comfort him but his weeping didn’t cease. Matt turned to face Kelly, tear tracks stained his cheeks and his eyes were full of pain.  
“Move over” urged Kelly gently, Matt furrowed his eyebrows but complied. Kelly wasted no time in slipping under the covers. As Kelly hugged him tightly he remembered the nights Christie used to comfort him after their parents arguments, before she started hating him. Once again Matt felt safe and despite the pain in his chest he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Kelly hugged Matt tightly, he would always be there for his little brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Hope you’re enjoying the story so far.  
> Have a great day : )


	12. Harvey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt begins to open up to Jane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy, thank you for reading the story so far.

The house was calm and still , Matt’s soft whistling pierced through the comfortable silence as he dutifully painted the bathroom wall a pale shade of blue. It was the second and last day of Matt’s suspension . Aunt Jane wasn’t punishing Matt , she was trying to keep him busy . Despite her best efforts the guilt pressing down on Matt hadn’t eased. Once he was finished he stepped back and admired his handy work. He wondered what colour the walls imprisoning his Mother were, he hoped they were a happy vibrant colour but he knew they’d be a dirty white or depressing grey.   
“Matt lunch is ready” called Jane cutting into his thoughts. Matt tore his eyes away from the wall and headed downstairs.

Jane talked softly to Matt as he picked at his food. However he wasn’t gazing off into the distance like he normally did when he was upset, instead he was chewing his lip nervously while tapping his foot anxiously. He kept turning to look at Jane before quickly snapping his head back to his plate , she could practically hear the question on the tip of his tongue. Jane continued talking to Matt about her plans for the weekend, not wanting to pressure Matt by asking him what was going on. Abruptly the tapping of his foot came to a halt ; he let out a deep sigh.  
“Do you think Christie Knows I no longer with aunt Lisa?” Asked Matt softly.  
“I’m not sure Matt”  
“What if she wrote me a letter or called but I wasn’t there to respond? What if she thinks I’m ignoring her?” Rambled Matt.  
“I’m sorry Matt I don’t know if she tried to contact you” stated Jane feeling her stomach twist at the frown appearing on Matt’s face.  
“Do you have her address ?” Inquired Jane gently, Matt nodded eagerly.  
“Ok then why don’t you write her a letter?” suggested Jane earning a small grin from Matt. 

Matt stared at the blank piece of paper in front of him , he didn’t know what to write . She was his sister, she comforted him after nightmares, snuck him out of the house to go trick or treating, baked him a cake when their parents forgot his birthday but now he felt like they were nothing but strangers.   
“I don’t know what to say” croaked Matt as Jane sat down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his arm.  
“Why don’t you write about moving here?”   
“She’ll think I’m rubbing it in, she’ll be mad that I’m happy”   
“She might be relieved to hear your happy”  
“No she won’t” mumbled Matt , Jane wanted to disagree with Matt but she’d never met Christie, it made her sick to think that maybe Christie did hate her younger brother because of everything that happened.

“What’s your best memory of Christie?” inquired Jane , she watched patiently as Matt’s eyebrows furrowed and he began chewing on the top of his pen. Suddenly Matt jumped out of his chair and ran upstairs, Jane stared sorrowfully at Matt’s now empty seat , she hadn’t anticipated Matt reacting like that. Jane was about to go check on the blonde when he reappeared, he returned to the kitchen hugging something to his chest. As Matt sat down at the table Jane realised he was holding a small teddy bear dressed as a firefighter. Matt continued clutching the bear tightly, he’d kept it hidden in the bottom of his duffel bag since he’d packed his bags the day his father died. The bear brought back all Matt’s memories of the times Christie had been there for him, she had always been his protector but now she was alone at college feeling lost and angry because of him. She lost everything because of Matt and the guilt he felt as the memories replayed in his head was unbearable.

“His name is Harvey” mumbled Matt, he stroked the bears silky fur as he gulped anxiously. The only other person in his life who knew about Harvey was Christie.  
“Mum left me in the park once , she said I was too much”admitted Matt sadly, ignoring the sympathy in Jane’s eyes.  
“When mum returned home alone Christie came looking for me. I’d panicked and climbed up a tree for safety but I got stuck. Christie found me, she tried to get me down but she was afraid of heights. She ran for help, someone called the fire department and they helped me out of the tree. Christie was always there for me, even when I’d pushed our parents over the edge” Matt explained, he’d never told anyone else about that day. He remembered it as if it was yesterday, he’d been so afraid which led to him bursting into tears, by the time the firefighter had reached the top of the ladder he was sobbing uncontrollably, the firefighter called Harvey had used the bear to coax him down. Once they reached the ground safely Christie had clung onto him and promised him that he’d never be abandoned again. They lied and told the firefighters Matt had run away to play in the park, therefore no one investigated the matter further. When Matt held the bear he felt safe , they’d kept him hidden under a loose floor board in Christie’s room , Matt knew he didn’t deserve Harvey and if his dad found out he would have thrown him away. Since that day Matt had always wanted to be a firefighter. Matt never told Kelly about the bear because he knew Benny was a firefighter , he didn’t want to risk upsetting him.

“I drove Christie away” muttered Matt, Jane immediately reached over and pulled Matt into a hug, the blonde leaned into the comfort and felt a warm glow replace the guilt in his chest.  
“You didn’t drive her away Matt , none of it was your fault” reassured Jane. Once they pulled away Matt stared back at the empty paper.  
“Why don’t you tell her about how much she means to you?”suggested Jane as Matt wiped away a few stray tears. Matt nodded but before he started writing he offered the bear to Jane who tentatively took the precious item from him.   
“I know it’s stupid to still carry around a stuffed bear but he reminds me of Christie, reminds me of when she used to love me”  
“Oh Matt she still loves you , she’s just grieving too. People push away the ones they love in times of grief, writing her a letter will let her know you’ll always be there for her” comforted Jane.  
“And It’s not stupid to seek comfort from Harvey but if it makes you feel any better I won’t tell anyone” Smiled Jane.

Finally Matt finished his letter to Christie with the help of aunt Jane. The letter was short and Matt refrained from telling her all about his adventures with Andy,Shay and Kelly, he didn’t want to seem too happy , just in case Christie was miserable at college. As he read over the letter again he felt his neves rattling , he hoped she’d respond. He hoped she still loved him

Dear Christie,  
I miss you a lot , I hope you’re happy at college .I made a friend, his names Kelly and he’s great. I was too much for Aunt Lisa to handle , I live with Kelly and his aunt now. I love living with them but I still miss mum and dad. I miss watching hockey with Dad, helping mum cook dinner and I miss you reading to me late at night when I couldn’t sleep. You’re my big sister Christie and you always will be. I hope you’re ok and one day you’ll forgive me for what happened. I’m sorry I was never good enough, I’m sorry I broke everything. Please take care.  
Lots of love your little brother Matty.

The next morning for the first time ever Kelly woke before Matt , as he looked over at the blonde he noticed Matt’s arm wrapped tightly around a small firefighter bear, the fur was a rich dark chocolate colour which stood out against the blue blankets. As Matt slept he looked peaceful, there was a smile on the blondes face and the pained expression he’d worn for weeks had completely vanished . As Kelly stared at the bear he was filled with hope, maybe Matt would want to be a firefighter too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Don’t worry Kelly will be back in the next chapter.  
> Have a good day ; )


	13. Grocery Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt’s getting used to life with Kelly nut his life is still far from easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the story so far. Hope you enjoy

Kelly wandered around the local grocery shop browsing at the different things displayed neatly on the shelves. Meanwhile Matt was gripping tightly onto Aunt Jane’s shopping list and searching for everything they needed. It was Saturday and Matt felt relieved that his horrible week was nearly over , it had been his first week back since his suspension. Griffin and his friends had been throwing him nasty glares all week but it wasn’t them that bothered Matt, the rest of the school were either avoiding him or making crude comments about his mum. Those who didn’t care about what Matt’s mum did were scared of him because of his fight with Griffin. Shay, Andy and Kelly had been by his side but the few lessons he had on his own were absolute hell. The other weight pressing down on Matt was that he still hadn’t received a letter from his sister , Matt was worried something bad had happened to her , Matt knew it was a horrible thing to think but he hoped that was the case , he didn’t want her to be ignoring him because she no longer loved him. Just as Matt was drifting into the deep dark corners of his mind Kelly approached him holding a box of donuts and tried to casually place them in the red basket Matt was carrying.  
“No Kelly we have to keep to the list” insisted Matt moving the basket away from Kelly,  
“But Matty they look so delicious”,  
“But the list”,  
“But delicious”.  
“Fine! But from now on we only buy things on aunt Janes list” Matt stated rolling his eyes, a large grin broke out across Kelly’s face, not because he’d won the argument but because of how naturally Matt said Aunt Jane, he had finally accepted they were his family.  
Matt continued collecting their groceries while Kelly goofed off.

The blonde was busy analysing the different types of pasta when he felt something knock the basket out of his hand.Matt immediately dropped to the floor scrambling to pick up the scattered items, he didn’t look up to see what had caused the basket to fall assuming someone had accidentally bumped into him. However an irritating voice sent shivers down his spine,  
“Never expected to see you shopping for groceries ,I always assumed you ate out of the trash. After all you have no parents to feed you”.  
“Go away Griffin”  
“Why should I?”  
“We’re even now, I don’t want anymore trouble” Matt explained in a tight tone , all he wanted was to get home in one piece.  
“Aww are you scared of me now Matty?”  
“No but you’re not worth the hassle ” Matt retorted as he resumed placing the items back in the basket. Matt reached for a carton of eggs and checked to see if they were all broken trying desperately to ignore Griffin.  
“Leave him alone” yelled Kelly as he rounded the corner. Kelly’s blood was boiling, he squared up to the bratty boy and balled up his fists.  
“Make me” growled Griffin , Kelly began walking even closer towards Griffin but as he prepared to hit the creep he felt someone tugging at his arm .   
“He’s not worth it Kelly” Matt shouted anxiously trying to pull Kelly away, hearing the panic in his friend’s voice Kelly begrudgingly stepped way from Griffin. Kelly turned to help Matt with the grocery basket when a gooey pink liquid cascaded over Matt, Kelly launched at Griffin who was gripping a now empty bottle of strawberry milkshake. But instead of coming into contact with Griffin a worn looking grey haired man gently grabbed Kelly’s arms and stood between him and Griffin.  
“Bullies like that ain’t worth it” comforted the stranger. Kelly exhaled , he really wanted to teach Griffin a lesson after all the pain he’d inflicted on Matt but Kelly knew if Matt wanted revenge he would have done it himself, the blonde may have been smaller than most kids their age but he could definitely handle himself in a fight. Kelly nodded at the stranger who then turned towards Griffin.  
“Get out of here” instructed the stranger roughly. Griffin gulped at the man and sheepishly ran out of the shop.   
“You alright kid” the stranger asked Matt who was crouched on the floor checking his list and examining the groceries. He could feel the milkshake sticking his hair together tainting it, the gooey liquid was still oozing down his back , he was embarrassed and cold. Matt just wanted to finish shopping, after everything Aunt Jane had done for him the least he could do was collect the groceries. Matt didn’t do half as many chores at Janes as he did at his dad’s house.   
“Hey Matt are you ok?” Inquired Kelly kneeling down next to Matt who had begun tugging at his hair and breathing heavily. He couldn’t even handle grocery shopping thought Matt dejectedly. 

Wordlessly Matt stood up and headed to the till , he was followed by a concerned Kelly and the stranger. The cashier stared amusedly at the strange boy with damp strawberry blonde hair but began to scan the items. When the cashier asked for the money the stranger held out the right amount of cash before Matt had chance to pull the money out of his pocket.  
“No you can’t pay” gasped Matt, what if the stranger would want Matt to do him a favour later? for all they knew he was a serial killer or a bank robber.  
“It’s fine” reassured the man as he picked up the bags off the counter and handed them to Kelly.  
“My names Alvin, I’m a cop” he announced flashing his badge as he sensed Matt’s fear.  
“I’m Kelly and this is Matt” replied Kelly earning a glare from the latter.  
“Thank you” stated Matt as he continued playing with his hair, it was now matted together. As he felt the sticky heap on his head he cringed internally, he must look like a freak now too.  
“Kelly as in Benny Severide’s kid” questioned Alvin.  
“Yeah, how did you know?” Mumbled Kelly.  
“I’ve worked with him a few times in the past, he talked about you and there aren’t many boys name Kelly who look like a younger version of your father” Alvin replied lightly. Kelly felt a pang of sadness, he hated the fact he looked like his dad, he often wondered if his mum left him behind because he was a constant reminder of his father.  
“Why don’t I give you a lift home?” Offered Al.  
“No thank you, we’ll be fine” responded Kelly,  
“Kelly Matt’s not looking to good right now, walking home in this chilly weather definitely won’t make him feel any better” pointed out Alvin as he and Kelly turned to look at the distraught blonde. He was swaying anxiously as he yanked harshly at his hair in frustration , he really wanted a shower. He knew it was vain but Matt liked his hair, his father had always hated it. When it started to get long his dad would bring out the clippers, his father thought the buzz cut made him look stronger, less like a wimp. His dad had shaved his head two weeks before he died , this was the longest his hair had ever been but compared to most people his hair was short. Tugging his hair reminded him his dad was gone, he was no longer there to punish him.  
“Ok, thank you” sighed Kelly , he handed one of the bags to Alvin before looping an arm around Matt and steering him out of the shop.

The car was warm but Matt didn’t care, the milkshake was starting to smell. Kelly wanted to sit in the back with his brother but he needed to sit in the front seat to direct Al where to go.  
“Why are you helping us?” Asked Kelly,  
“ I have a daughter, she’s quite a bit younger than you but I hope if she ever gets into trouble someone will help her out ” admitted Alvin.  
“So what’s the deal with that kid at the shop?” Asked Alvin.  
“I’m just curious” stated Alvin after Kelly had turned away. Kelly glanced at Matt who looked virtually catatonic.   
“He’s a bully, he’s been on Matt’s back since he moved to the school” explained Kelly.  
“Damn I hate people like that”, the car lapsed into a comfortable silence.Abruptly Matt erupted into mirthless laughter.  
“Matty is everything ok?”   
“I can’t , I can’t even get groceries without causing trouble” laughed Matt.  
“God I really am cursed” Matt exclaimed. A few moments later the laughter stopped and Matt stared off into the distance.  
“Matt you’re not cursed and it wasn’t your fault” soothed Kelly as best he could from the front of the car. They reached the house a few moments later, Kelly wasted no time in jumping out of the front seat and helping a soggy sticky Matt out of the car.  
“Thank you Alvin for everything”,  
“It’s no problem, if either of you ever need anything give me a call” encouraged Alvin handing Kelly his business card. 

Matt rushed into the house and dumped the bags on the dining room table,  
“Woah Matt what happened?” asked a worried Jane taking in Matt’s messy appearance.  
“I need a shower” declared Matt before darting up the stairs; she turned towards to Kelly who gave her a weak smile.  
“We bumped into Griffin”.

After nearly fifty minutes Matt appeared in the living room, his hair was damp but now it’s usual blonde instead of being tinged pink. He was wearing fresh clothes but he still looked disgruntled. Washing out the milkshake had taken forever and now he felt bad about how rude he’d acted around the police officer. Guilt was setting in his stomach when he noticed aunt Jane sat on the sofa holding something in her hands.  
“This came for you” said Jane handing him a letter. Matt studied the letter , he immediately recognised his sister’s neat curly hand writing. His eyes were welling up with tears making it difficult to read and his hands were shaking.  
“Could you read it?” Inquired Matt.  
“Of course” replied Jane. Matt perched himself on the edge of the sofa and he felt Kelly place a supportive hand on his leg.  
“Ready?”, Matt nodded eagerly, he was petrified of what she was going to say but he would never be more prepared.

“ Dear Matt,  
I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact lately, I’m glad to hear you’re happy. There’s a lot of things I need to say to you Matt, things I don’t want to write in a letter.   
I’m staying with Aunt Lisa this thanksgiving how about we talk face to face then.You have my number please give me a call, I promise I’ll answer this time.  
From your big sister Christie” 

“ Huh” Matt croaked, he had expected it to be a long angry letter blaming him or a letter about how she was happy at college and never wanted to see him again , but he didn’t except it to be so empty, it seemed anticlimactic.He still had no clue how his sister felt about him. But at least Matt would get to see her soon, thanksgiving was only a few weeks away.   
“I think your sisters right Matt talking in person will be better for the both of you ” stated Jane sensing Matt’s disappointment.  
“Yep and we’ll be there for you Matt regardless of what happens, you’ll always be my little brother”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Have a great day.


	14. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something causes Matt to spiral out of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the story so far.

Kelly was sprawled out on his bed writing rapidly, it was seven pm on Sunday and Kelly had a stack of homework to complete for the next day. Matt had finished his homework a while ago but Kelly had chosen playing video games over doing his work, now he was thoroughly regretting his decision. Meanwhile Matt was anxiously pacing back and forth holding tightly onto the phone.  
“Matt just call her, if you leave it any longer it will be too late” advised Kelly as he closed his English book and moved onto maths.  
“You’re right” admitted Matt softly, he carefully dialled Christie’s number ignoring how his hand shook. Matt’s pacing sped up as he listened to the phone ringing, his heart began to hammer in his chest as he waited for her to pick up, finally he felt relief flutter in his chest as a familiar voice reached his ears.  
“Hey it’s Christie, who is it?”  
“It’s Matt, I got your letter” he answered collapsing down on his bed, it was the first time he’d heard her voice since the day after his dad’s funeral, he’d come home from buying groceries to find her room empty and a short note stating that she’d returned to college.  
“Hey Matt, how are you doing?”   
“I’m good, I miss you. What about you? How’s college?”  
“I’m fine , college is great. Look Matt like I said in my letter we have a lot of things to talk about, things that can only be said in person. How about we meet up somewhere the day before thanksgiving?”   
“Yep that’s great” he replied eagerly, they then decided it would be best if she came to Kelly’s house, Kelly quietly wrote down the address for Matt to read out.  
“I have to go Matt, bye” announced Christie a few moments later, she had hung up before Matt even had chance to reply but he didn’t care. Matt couldn’t wait to see her, he was grinning from ear to ear which caused a warm feeling to spread in Kelly’s chest.  
“Here, just get a few wrong ok” stated Matt passing his finished homework to Kelly who flashed him a grateful smile.

Kelly and Matt were sat happily on the sofa, Kelly was beating Matt in his favourite video game. It had been a long tiring day, Monday’s were always the worst, both boys were relieved to be home. All of the sudden an aggressive knock at the door interrupted their game. Kelly and Matt exchanged confused glances before Kelly headed to the door. As he opened it he was shocked to see Matt’s aunt Lisa. Matt hadn’t seen her since the day she kicked him out and the last time they had any contact with her was when aunt Jane phoned her to talk about Matt staying with them permanently, the conversation was full of angry swears and ended with aunt Jane declaring Matt was better off without Lisa. Kelly opened his mouth to ask her what she wanted when she violently pressed something into his hands and took off. Kelly stared dumfounded into the distance as she took off.  
“Who was it?” Inquired Matt as Kelly returned to the sofa.  
“Your aunt, she dropped off these” replied Kelly handing over a pile of letters to Matt.  
The sight of the familiar handwriting sent a spike of fear through him. He wasn’t ready, he thought he’d have more time, he didn’t think she’d ever want to talk to him.  
“Matt what’s wrong?” Asked Kelly listening to the rapid speed of Matt’s breathing.  
“They’re from my mum” croaked Matt. He stared down at the letters, there were about five of them.   
“I don’t want to read them” said Matt evenly, he flashed Kelly a smile and carelessly tossed them onto the coffee table.   
“That’s ok Matt” comforted Kelly before returning to the game. After a few minutes Matt broke the easy silence, his mum was still weighing heavy on his mind.  
“Is your mum visiting for thanksgiving?” inquired Matt.  
“I doubt it, mum never turns up for holidays or birthdays. She’ll appear randomly before disappearing again for a few months” explained Kelly focusing heavily on the game, trying desperately to shut out the pain of his mother’s absence. Matt didn’t say anything, he knew it was best to just let Kelly talk when he was ready, Kelly was stubborn like Matt but thankfully he opened up to people without requiring consistent prodding, unlike Matt who wouldn’t tell you his arm hurt even if it was bent the wrong way.   
“She visited about two weeks before you joined our school, so she’s due to turn up in about a month but you never really know with mum” Kelly sighed with a heavy heart.  
“But it’s ok , because now you’re here” stated Kelly, he loved aunt Jane , he always felt more at home with her than he ever had with his parents but he still felt like something was missing, until Matt turned up and now his family felt complete. He was used to spending thanksgiving without his parents but this would be Matt’s first thanksgiving since his life was turned upside down.   
“I’m excited , we never really celebrated it at home”,  
“What do you mean Matt? Surely you’ve celebrated it before”.  
“My dad always spent it with friends, my mum used drown her sorrows away, she said we had nothing to be thankful for” admitted Matt hating the sympathy in Kelly’s eyes.  
“This year I’m thankful for you and Jane” he admitted sheepishly, watching a deep dark crimson blush creep across Kelly’s face.  
“We’re thankful for you too Matt”

-

Jane was jolted out of a deep sleep, her body was still heavy with sleep. It was the middle of the week and she was mentally counting down the day’s until the weekend. A loud noise from down stairs reminded her why she had awoken. A shiver ran through her as her bare feet hit the cold wooden floor. Before heading downstairs she quietly poked her head into Matt’s and Kelly’s bedroom to check on her boys, she felt her chest tighten as she saw Matt’s empty bed. As she soundlessly reached the kitchen she was overcome with worry mixed with confusion. Matt was huddled in the corner of the room murmuring angrily to himself, one of the dining chairs had been pushed over, pieces of paper were spread out across the dining table.  
“Hey Matt what’s wrong?” She asked tentatively as she crouched down in front of Matt.  
“I was right” announced Matt brokenly.  
“Right about what honey?” She asked gently, abruptly Matt shot up accidentally knocking her to the floor.  
“I’m sorry” squeaked Matt reaching out to help her up.  
“I didn’t mean to hurt you” he cried his head was beginning to spin, no matter what he did he broke everything he touched.  
“Matt it’s fine, you didn’t hurt me”she assured, Matt knew she was lying, his father always taught him that you should never admit to pain.  
“I don’t want to hurt anyone else”, he’d hurt enough people already, he’d done more damage in sixteen years than most people did in a lifetime, he ruined the lives of three people, three people who he loved.  
“I know Matt” responded Jane calmly.  
“I don’t want to be bad”.  
“You’re not Bad Matt”, the blonde moved towards the table and picked up one of the sheets of paper.  
“I did it for you Matt” he read out, When jane first saw the pages on the table she instantly knew they were his mother’s letters, Jane knew it was selfish but she wished his mother would cut all ties with Matt, it would hurt the blonde at first but Jane knew he’d be better off without her.  
“She made her own decision”.  
“But she wouldn’t of done it if I was never born” cried Matt as he picked up a different letter.  
“I hope you’re happy” he announced,  
“She hopes I’m happy, I ruined her life , took her freedom but she just wants me to be happy. I never deserved her” explained Matt.  
“Matt-“  
“You’ll always be my beautiful little baby boy, I just wanted to protect you ” Matt read off another letter.  
“I brain washed her, I’m a monster but I tricked her” whimpered Matt, tears streaming down his face.  
“Matt you’re not a monster” she declared, it was moments like these she really wanted to give Matt’s mother a piece of her mind. It was obvious she was manipulating Matt, convincing him that he owed his life to her. Jane understood why she shot Matt’s father but what kind of mother tells their young son they killed their father for them? Jane knew Matt’s dad was a horrible person but from the few stories Matt had told she knew his mother was strict and affectionless.  
“Yes I am , my dad knew the truth, he was trying to fix me. But mum didn’t understand because I tricked her into thinking I didn’t need help ” Matt weeped.  
“Matt you don’t need fixing, you’re compassionate, smart and loyal”  
“Oh god, I tricked you too” he rasped pulling angrily at his hair.  
“No Matt you didn’t trick me”.  
“I don’t want you to break too” whimpered Matt grabbing fistfuls of his blonde hair in frustration.  
“You can’t break me Matt, I’m hard as nails” she retorted forcing a smile. She heard the soft patter of feet as Kelly joined them in the kitchen.  
“Janes right she’s indestructible” laughed Kelly, he had been listening carefully from the stairs, waiting for the right moment to enter. Matt was exhausted, his stomach was doing somersaults, his mother was trapped and miserable but she just wanted him to be alright. Matt was crying inconsolably, he collapsed to the floor hugging the letters tightly to his chest. Jane dropped down next to Matt rubbing circles on his back, after a while the distressed blonde was lulled to sleep.   
“Help me get him to the sofa” instructed Jane looking at Matt’s frail form curled up on the floor in the middle of the kitchen. Carefully they carried Matt to the sofa, Jane settle on the sofa and Matt led his head head in her lap, she stroked his hair as Kelly draped the thick blue blanket over Matt. Kelly then grabbed a blanket from upstairs and settled himself on the floor next to Matt.  
Matt was doing really good before the letters Kelly thought bitterly.   
“Kelly he’s still grieving but it going to be ok, matts stronger than he thinks “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. The next chapters will be happy,promise.   
> Thank you for the comments.


	15. The visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has come for Matt to reunite with his sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the story so far. Hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> Thank you for the supportive comments.

Matt was wearing a thick blue sweater, it was a hand me down from Kelly and it engulfed Matt’s small frame but it helped drown out the dark thoughts bouncing around his head. He was tugging anxiously at the sleeve as he stared at the front door from his place on the stairs, Christie would be there any second ; Matt wasn’t ready. Christie was always closer to their father, what if she never forgave Matt for his death? Did she know their mum killed their father for him?   
Matt had felt sick to his stomach since he read his mother’s letters, it should of been him behind bars not her. He hoped Christie understood that it wasn't their mothers fault.   
“Hey Matt I’m sure it’s going to be alright” comforted Kelly ruffling Matt’s hair as he flopped down next him.  
“I never wanted to hurt her” stated Matt.  
“I know that Matty and I think she will too” replied Kelly placing a hand on Matt’s shoulder.  
His heart plummeted as a knock on the door echoed through the house. Matt tried to stand to his feet but his legs felt like jelly, his head was starting to pound when Kelly pulled him back down onto the stairs.  
“No matter what she says, we’ll always be here for you” assured Kelly giving the blonde a soft smile. With Kelly’s words dancing round his head he managed to rise to his feet and start towards the door. With a shaky hand and his heart beating rapidly in his chest he opened the door.

Matt was overcome with relief as his blue eyes locked onto his beloved sister , there was a brightness in her eyes and she was offering him a soft warm smile.  
“Hey Matt you look well” observed Christie as she examined her brother, he was no longer a pale sickly colour , the dark bags that had been staining the skin under his eyes for weeks had disappeared and he no longer looked skinnier than someone stranded on a deserted island,He looked the healthiest she had ever seen him.  
“I’ve missed you” admitted Matt looking sheepishly at his feet, he didn’t know what to say , he felt like he was talking to a stranger. They hadn’t had a proper conversation since before their dad died, after his death she had avoided to talking to Matt ; their phone call was the most they had talked until now.  
“I missed you too Matt but are you going to let me in?” she chuckled shivering slightly from the cold air.  
“Uh yeah of course” stuttered Matt moving aside.  
“Christie this is Kelly” explained Matt as he gestured to his friend still sat on the steps.  
“Pleased to meet you Christie” stated Kelly offering his hand to her, as he flashed her a smile. Christie had the same blonde hair and blue eyes as Matt, except she was a little taller than her brother.  
“It’s lovely to meet you too” she replied accepting his hand. Matt led her into the living as Aunt Jane entered with a plate of cookies she’d made earlier in the day.   
“Thanks Aunt Jane” said Matt as she place the plate on the coffee table, he immediately berated himself for calling her aunt Jane in front of Christie, what if Christie got mad because she believed he didn’t deserve another family?  
“Hi Christie, nice to finally meet you.Matt’s told us a lot of things about you” greeted Jane.  
“Only good things” Jane elaborated noticing the worry in Christie’s eyes.  
“Um, thank you so much for taking Matt in” stated Christie, she loved their Aunt Lisa but she was in no way a maternal figure, she could be self-centred and spiteful. After loosing her brother she had begun to take her grief out on Matt, Christie hated leaving Matt with Lisa. Christie would have taken Matt to college with her if she could have gotten away with it. After all She wasn’t running away from Matt when she returned to college, she returned because she was tired of spending all day staring at the walls or crying her eyes out, she needed normality. But after receiving Matt’s letter she realised her little brother thought she was running away from him. However she also felt immensely relieved after learning that Matt had moved away from aunt Lisa.  
“That’s ok , we love having him here” replied Jane wrapping an arm around the blondes shoulders.

After a while the occupants of the living room relaxed and Matt found himself happily listening to Christie and Jane talking, Kelly chirped in occasionally and tried to encourage Matt to talk more but the boy preferred to listen to the easygoing conversation and soak in his sisters happiness. She really was enjoying college, knowing Christie was doing ok eased the pain in his chest.

“Matt what did you mean in your letter when you said you were sorry you broke everything?” Asked Christie cautiously, she had reread his letter a thousand time’s and each time she felt more scared.   
“Mum she” started Matt as his right hand reached up to pull at a strand of his that had been messily flopped over the middle of his forehead.  
“She killed Dad because of me” admitted Matt his voice became high pitched towards the end as emotion leaked into his tone, he felt himself drowning in a mix of guilt and shame.  
“Matt it wasn’t your fault”,  
“She thought Dad was too harsh on me, she didn’t understand that dad was trying to fix me”  
“It had nothing to do with you Matt.Yeah dad could be strict sometimes but when we were with him we were a family. Mum barely ever interacted with us when we were staying at her house, she was jealous. She’s a bitter nasty woman who made her own decision” she reassured in a firm voice.  
“No! Mum is a good person she doesn’t deserve to be in prison” reasoned Matt. He wasn’t angry at Christie ,she didn’t understand. His father became even stricter after Christie left, Matt had acted up more because he missed Christie a lot, there for his dad had to toughen him up even more, to teach him how to withstand such small disappointments. Christie was perfect, her dad never needed to fix her. As a result Christie never saw how their mother reacted after his father’s lessons. If Matt had been good his father wouldn’t of had to toughen him up, then their mother wouldn’t have gotten angry at their dad.  
“Matt mum is a murderer, that’s not your fault” insisted Christie feeling a stab of guilt in her chest, she should of stayed and consoled Matt after their dad died.  
“Then why did you abandon me?” questioned Matt brokenly, if she didn’t leave because she blamed him, it must be because he was unlovable.  
“Matt I didn’t abandon you”,Christie stated as she moved towards Matt.  
“You left without saying goodbye, you never answered my calls” yelled Matt as he jumped up off the sofa, feeling anger briefly surge through him.  
“Because I wanted to pretend dads death never happened. I was running away from my feelings, I never left because of you” she explained pulling Matt into a hug.  
“But I killed Dad” Matt weeped into her shoulder.  
“Oh Matt, mum always had a way of manipulating you” sighed Christie as she gently pushed Matt away from her to better examine her kid brother better, She tentatively thumbed away the tears staining his face.  
“No she was telling the truth ” Matt declared grasping Christie’s wrist.  
“Matt mum always tried to turn you against Dad, she constantly used you to try and get at dad during the divorce. You were too young to understand but I remember how she used you as a pawn” admitted Christie pulling him back towards her.  
“No” protested Matt weakly.  
“Look Matt, I don’t care about mum anymore let’s not waste time bickering about her, that’s what she wants. Instead let’s just focus on us for once”  
“Ok” he murmured into her shoulder, gosh he had missed her.  
“So why don’t you tell me about those other friends you made at school, what did you say there names were Shaun and Andrea?” inquired Christie causing Kelly to snort, he would definitely call Andy Andrea from now on.  
“No Shay and Andy” laughed Matt weakly.

After a while Matt headed to the kitchen to get Christie another drink ; Kelly followed him wanting to check on his friend, leaving Christie alone with Jane.  
“Has he been blaming himself the whole time?” Queried Christie failing miserably to hide the worry in her voice. Jane was torn between valuing her boys privacy and being honest, eventually she resorted to giving the young girl a sad smile.  
“Damn it, he’s always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He spends all his time worrying about everyone else instead of himself”  
“I can see that but the last few weeks he’s really been coming out of his shell”  
“I should have been here for him”  
“No you had your own life and you anyway can’t change the past. I know you’ve done a lot for him already”  
“What do you mean?”  
“He told me stories, including the one about Harvey”  
“ wow you really have gotten him to open up” marvelled Christie. She remembered when they were children and they’d go to the neighbourhood barbecues, Matt would always find somewhere to sit and watch the other kids play ; he never joined in but she could see in his eyes he desperately wanted to. She’d watch their dad sit next to Matt and whisper what she assumed were words of encouragement in his ear but they never worked as Matt always remained glued to his spot.

“I promise Matt I’ll write to you weekly and you can call me whenever you need anything” assured Christie as she gave Matt one more hug. Kelly reached out to offer Christie a hand shake but the girl pulled him into a bone crushing hug,  
“Thank you, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to him” whispered Christie making Kelly’s heart fill with joy. Kelly already knew Matt was his brother but he was thankful for Christie’s approval, he must admit at first he was intimidated by Christie. He was terrified Matt was going to choose her over him but now he realised Matt had enough love in his heart for the whole wide world. As Christie left, Matt’s head felt clear and the tension he’d been carrying in his body for months evaporated.

Jane watched over her boys, Kelly was intently watching the cheesy action film illuminating the screen but Matt was falling asleep, the blonde hadn’t slept properly for days as he’d been worrying over his sisters visit. Matt was sat comfortably between Kelly and Jane, as his head became heavier than a sack of rocks he found his body leaning to one side. Jane was relieved to see Matt looking so calm, but as she watched the tired boy her heart tightened. Today had confirmed what she had feared, both Matt’s parents were far from perfect. Since meeting Matt she had suspected his father was physically abusive but now she knew his mother was also far from innocent and had emotionally manipulated the poor boy. She didn’t blame Christie for not noticing what her father did to Matt but she wished there was someone who could inform her what had happened to Matt over the years. Sadly she had to accept that she would never know the full extent of the pain Matt lived through, all she could do was ensure she would be there for Matt through any trouble he faced in the future. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts by a thunderous explosion on the screen.  
“See Matt I told you the nerdy old character wouldn’t survive, they never do in these films” laughed Kelly as he playfully nudged Matt.   
“Umm Kelly look”laughed Jane quietly.  
“What.... oh”. The blondes eyes were tightly closed, his head was leaning on Janes’s shoulder and he was snoring softly.  
“Be careful, he drools in his sleep” chuckled Kelly.  
He had a huge grin plastered on his face when he looked at his exhausted little brother. Their little family was far from normal but they would always have each other’s back and if anything they were stronger than your average family. They may not have been genetically connected but their love for each other would keep them together . They would always be family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I’m not that keen on the Christie in the show, if we saw her more I think I might have grown to like her. I thought after a tough few chapters Matt deserved some happiness.  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Have an awesome day.


	16. Physics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will a class project help lure Matt out of his shell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter, thanks for reading. Sorry it’s quite short.

Thanksgiving was amazing, the food was delicious and by the end of the day Matt’s face was aching from smiling so much. As he stared up at the ceiling that night he felt like he was floating on a cloud, he’d never felt so happy in his life before. Unbeknownst to Matt Kelly was feeling exactly the same, his family was complete now. The blonde brought a brightness to the household Kelly wouldn’t be able to live without now he knew it existed.

Matt walked happily to homeroom while Kelly trudged miserably behind him,  
“Why do the holidays have to end?” Whined Kelly.  
“Oh come on school is not that bad Kelly” stated Matt grabbing his friends hand and pulling him towards the room.  
“Kelly we’re already late, hurry up” yelled Matt growing annoyed, they had both over slept as they’d stayed up doing Kelly’s homework as he’d left it to the last minute once again.  
“Nooo, not ready for work”moaned Kelly dropping to the floor, Matt continued tugging Kelly’s hand but the tired lump on the floor barely moved..   
“For gods sake” cursed Matt as he summed up all the energy he had and pulled Kelly’s hand as hard as he could, slowly he began to drag his friend to class ,when suddenly the door flung open.  
Boden stepped into the hall way, he’d heard the boys bickering from inside the class. But this was not what he was expecting to see, he tried desperately to hide his amusement. At that moment Herrmann also exited his class after hearing the commotion coming from outside,  
“Back to school blues Kelly?” Questioned Hermann chuckling, Kelly groaned in response as Matt continued dragging his friend across the floor.

Once Matt got Kelly off the floor their day passed by smoothly until the last lesson of the day physics,When the pen Matt had been chewing on exploded in his mouth. Kelly burst out into laughter as Matt ran hurriedly to the toilet to clean himself up, leaving behind a flabbergasted teacher.  
Eventually he managed to scrub away most of the ink and he headed sheepishly back to class, when he returned everyone was sat in groups of four.  
“Everything alright now Matt?” asked the teacher in a soft voice,  
“Yes Mrs” he replied as he felt himself blushing, Kelly had warned him about chewing his pen.  
“Well Casey you’re in that group over there?” She announced pointing to a group of people in the corner of the room. His heart sank when he realised Kelly was in a different group, he recognised the boys Kelly was with as Capp, Tony and Cruz but as Matt turned to his own group he realised he only knew one of their names. Matt had been at the school for a while now but he had kept to himself mostly.   
Matt shyly smiled at his group before sitting in the empty chair next to the only person he recognised, it was the sweet energetic girl who sat in front of him in homeroom.  
“Hi Matt” greeted Sylvie excitedly, she was writing on a sheet of paper in different colours, she had a collection of vibrant pens sprawled out in front of her. The other two people on the table were busy bickering.  
“I say we should pick Jupiter ” announced a girl with long dark hair.  
“Jupiter sucks, let’s do mars” replied the boy sat next to her. Matt looked at Sylvie in confusion, he had no idea what they were talking about or even why they were in groups.  
“We have to do a presentation on a planet, personally I think we should do Saturn it’s pretty” explained Sylvie. The bickering continued, meanwhile all the other groups had begun to work but they hadn’t even picked a planet, they hadn’t done anything unless you counted their names on the back that Sylvie had written in big fancy colourful handwriting.  
“Well um, maybe we should write down the planets on a piece of paper then pick one at random”suggested Matt when he grew tired of waiting for them to make up their minds.  
“Where did you come from?” Asked the boy in surprise, he had been too busy arguing to notice the blondes appearance.  
“Great idea Matt” chimed Sylvie ignoring the boy. She then turning to the other girl and whispered something in her ear, Matt’s stomach twisted in knots , he was worried they were talking about him.  
“Sorry about the arguing, I’m Stella and that idiot is Otis” stated Stella smiling friendly at him.  
“It’s Brian” responded the boy his voice heavy with annoyance.  
“Shut up Otis” stated Stella as Sylvie began writing down the planets on a piece of paper,  
She folded them up, placed them in her hand and asked Matt to pick one.  
“Jupiter” read out Sylvie just as the bell sounded.  
“Oh no we’re really far behind, we should meet up one evening to start and finish the project” proposed Sylvie.  
“Should we go to the library?” Matt asked,  
“We can’t Otis is banned” explained Stella matter of factly.  
“How about one of our houses?” Asked Otis. Matt felt Kelly standing behind him pretending he was packing his bag.  
“Invite them over to ours”whispered Kelly. Matt gulped despite Kelly’s suggestion he still wasn’t sure if Jane would be ok with that, he never had friends over growing up because a) he didn’t have any friends and b) his dad hated guests.  
“Y-you can come over to my house tomorrow night” stuttered Matt yanking at his sleeve.  
“Great” cheered Sylvie as the others nodded in agreement. Matt wrote his address on a piece of paper before following Kelly to lunch. Matt felt sick to his stomach.  
“Are you sure Jane won’t mind?” Asked matt again for the fifth time in the last three minutes.  
“Yes” replied Kelly softly , he stayed calm knowing how easily Matt could get himself worked up.  
“What do I do when they come over?” Matt questioned anxiously.  
“Talk to them Matt”,  
“But what if they”,  
“Matt they’re good people, I heard Sylvie is friendly, Otis is the class clown and I wish Stella was in my group. And most importantly Matt you’re a good person, anyone who hates you must be missing their brain” interrupted Kelly, his heart was aching at Matt’s self doubt. It was days like this Kelly despised Matt parents more than anything, because of them the blonde would never believe he was a good person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I skipped over thanksgiving I don’t know enough about it to write about it.  
> I hope you liked this chapter, I thought it was about time to introduce more people from station fifty one.  
> Thanks for reading the story so far.  
> Have a great day.


	17. School project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie, Otis and Stella come over Matt’s house to finish their school project , will it end in disaster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy,thank you for reading the story so far.  
> Sorry I was quite harsh on Matt towards the end of this chapter.

“Everything is going to be ok Matt” assured Jane pulling the stressed boy into a hug, the blonde had been pacing the living room for the last ten minutes ; he had moved on from gently pulling his hair to aggressively yanking the messy blonde strands.  
“But they’ll be here any minute” reminded Matt his body relaxing in her grasp, the kids from school were coming over to finish their project, Sylvie and Stella had after school commitments which was why they decided to meet at six pm.  
“They’re good people Matt, it will be fine” chirped in Kelly.  
“But what do I do if it goes bad? I can’t leave. I live here!” Cried Matt his voice saturated with fear.  
“If everything does go wrong come and get me” instructed Jane.  
“But then they’ll think I’m a snitch” groaned Matt, why was socialising so complicated?  
“I’ll make up a tiny white lie, I’ll tell them there’s an emergency and we have to go somewhere” promised Jane.  
“Ok” replied Matt, tensing slightly as Jane let go of him and headed to her office.  
“I’ll be in my room if you need anything” stated Kelly.  
“No you can’t leave” declared Matt grabbing Kelly’s wrist,  
“I can’t stay either, it would be weird if I just sat there while you guys worked”,  
“But I need you” admitted Matt with fear in his eyes, he could handle a fight with Griffin but the thought of upsetting Sylvie, Stella and Otis terrified him. If he made them his enemy they’d tell everyone what a freak he was, they might even convince Kelly to kick him out.  
“Tell you what Matt, once you get them into the dining room I’ll sit on the stairs, that way I can listen in and jump in if I think you need help”  
“Thanks Kelly” stated Matt offering Kelly a wary smile, but a knock at the door quickly wiped it off his face.  
“You’ll be fine” assured Kelly one last time before disappearing. Nervously Matt opened the door to reveal Stella and Sylvie.  
“Hey Matt” The two girls greeted in unison, Matt smiled and led them into the house keeping his body hunched and his eyes glued to the ground.  
“Otis not here yet?” Asked Sylvie,  
“Um no not yet” responded Matt nervously.  
“What about Kelly is he here?” Asked Stella trying to appear nonchalant.  
“Um ye... no, he’s not here”. Before either of the girls could respond to Matt’s strange answer there was another knock at the door. Matt quickly ran towards it knowing it was probably Otis,  
“Sorry I’m late” apologised Otis after Matt opened the door,  
“It’s ok” Matt assured leading the boy to the table where the girls were already sat with their books open on the table.  
“Cool I have the same game console ” stated Otis his attention shifting to the games filling the wooden shelf next to the tv.  
“Damn it Otis can you stay focused for one second” complained Stella.  
“Says the girl who accidentally lit their science book on fire because they were too busy staring at a boy” shot back Otis with a smirk.  
“No I saw a squirrel outside the window” insisted Stella.  
“Yeah a squirrel called Kelly Severide” remarked Sylvie before she could stop herself.  
“Sylvie” whined Stella tilting her head towards Matt, she knew Matt and Kelly were practically brothers, they probably told each other everything.  
“Oh come on everyone knows you like him” replied Sylvie.  
“That’s not true”,  
“Even Otis knew and he’s normally oblivious” chuckled Sylvie.  
“Hey” yelped Otis.  
“Well as interesting as this conversation was I think we should get to work” announced Matt trying to get a handle on the situation, while also trying to hide his amusement.

Meanwhile Aunt Jane was also trying to control her laughter, she’d overheard the conversation from her office, she also knew Kelly was listening in too, she wished she could have seen his reaction. Kelly may seem like a confident guy but she knew how flustered he got when it came to girls he liked.

After an hour their project was finally finished, Stella was happily retelling the story of how Otis got banned from the library causing them all to burst into laughter. When the giggling died down, Sylvie glanced at her watched and realised it was time to go. They packed up there stuff and started making their way to the door.  
“Thanks for having us over Matt, but um please don’t tell Kelly about the whole science accident” Stella pleaded.  
“My lips are sealed” promised Matt knowing full well Kelly had heard the whole thing. Matt was right the other boy was still blushing furiously.  
“Thanks Matt” she replied before heading out of the house.  
“You should come over to mine sometime and we can play videos games, you and Kelly against Cruz and me” suggested Otis,  
“That sounds like a great idea” admitted Matt as Otis left too.  
“Bye Matt, I can’t believe we finished the project. Thanks for having us over” stated Sylvie.  
“That’s ok see you tomorrow” replied Matt giddy with relief , not only had there been no arguments, he had potentially gained three more friends.  
“See Matt I told you it would be alright” laughed Kelly wrapping an arm around Matt.  
“I guess you were right, for once” admitted Matt groaning as Kelly playfully punched him in the arm.

“So Matt I heard you’re space project went well” stated Andy with a smirk, they were playing video games at his house.  
“Yeah it did” admitted Matt, Kelly didn’t miss the bright light in his eyes, he was overjoyed to see the blonde interacting with more people.  
“Sylvie’s normally pretty intense when it comes to school projects” stated Shay reflecting on the time they did an English project together.  
“She’s pretty looking too” admitted Andy.  
“You know some people say I look like her” informed Shay.  
“I don’t see it” chuckled Andy as Shay poked her tongue out at him. They continued harmlessly bickering for the rest of the afternoon, Shay and Andy teased Kelly relentlessly about Stella, they both knew Kelly had been crushing on her since she moved to the school a year ago. Shay also talked to Matt about Sylvie a lot but he didn’t understand why, they were just friends after all. Eventually it was time for Matt and Kelly to head home. 

The two boys chatted excitedly to each other as they walked home, Kelly looked at Matt with a humongous smile. The blonde was the happiest Kelly had ever seen him, he no longer tugged his sleeve every few minutes, he engaged in long conversations and always made eye contact. Kelly felt lighter knowing Matt was ok. Kelly started talking about hockey but Matt wasn't listening, he was watching a small boy about seven or eight riding his scooter up and down the street . He had bright curly red hair which stuck out in different directions , his scooter was a vibrant lime green. Matt had always wanted a scooter or to learn to ride a bike, the kids on his street would spend all day racing each other. Matt would watch from his window until his dad would order him to continue his chores, he knew he didn’t deserve to have fun but that never stopped him from watching the other kids and dreaming he could be out there with them. Suddenly Matt felt a stab of fear in his chest, a big blue car was hurdling towards the innocent boy, the little kid hadn’t noticed yet and continued happily humming to himself. Without hesitation he launched into the middle of the road shoving the child out of the way. Kelly saw the car but he hadn’t noticed the small boy it was heading towards. As Matt disappeared from beside him his blood ran cold.  
“Matt!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Don’t worry Matt will be ok, I wanted to show Jane looking after Matt in the next chapter, I was going to give him the flu but given everything going on in the world I thought that might be a little to close to home for some people right now.  
> I also thought it would be interesting to involve Matts head injury.  
> Don’t worry if you’re reading my other story, matt’s recovery in this story will be very different to his recovery in I’m fine.  
> Thank you for reading (sorry for rambling)  
> Have a good day.


	18. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt has had a tough time, he’s used to being kicked when he’s down but how will he react too having two caring people in his corner?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> I did some research but this is not medically accurate at all.
> 
> Trigger warning- vomiting.
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter.

Agonising pain engulfed Matt, his entire body was on fire. He knew someone was talking to him but everything around him sounded muffled, he felt hands on him, poking and prodding at his battered body, he tried to desperately to push them away but the small movement sent another jolt of pain through his body. Darkness descended on Matt, as the pain enveloping his body became unbearable.  
Matt attempted to open his eyes but within seconds his vision was assaulted by a bright blinding light sending a wave of pain through his head. A thought pierced through Matt’s foggy mind, Kelly, where was Kelly? Matt desperately tried to sit up to search for his friend but his body was instantly racked with pain, blurry figures were trying to keep him still and he tried hopelessly fighting back but it was impossible as his body was stiff and heavy. Matt opened his mouth to scream for Kelly but he was stopped by the bile rising in his throat, suddenly he heaved all over the bed. He felt himself being rolled over onto his side, hot distressed tears started streaming down his face, he was making a mess, he didn’t want to be an inconvenience he thought miserably.  
“Mmm sor-wry” he whined as his body was engulfed in a cloud of pain. 

Matt pried his heavy eyelids open, he groaned softly at the light hitting his eyes. He felt some one comfortingly holding his hand,  
“Kelly?” Groaned Matt, he heard a distant mumbling noise. He body was heavy, it was like he was made of concrete. The only part of his body he managed to move was his eyes, during his frantic search for Kelly his eyes landed on a familiar face.  
“Hey Matt” soothed Jane gently brushing away a loose golden strand of hair straying into his eyes.  
“Mm kelly” mumbled Matt, he couldn’t remember how he got here, he hoped nothing bad had happened to his brother.  
“He’s ok Matt, he went home with Andy for the night, he needed a good nights sleep” explained Jane. Matt eagerly tried to sit up but his body was glued to the bed, he finally managed to shift his head but quickly erupted into heaving. A nurse turned Matt onto his side as Jane held a dish in front of Matt catching the remaining vomit  
“sorry” cried Matt, unfortunately Jane hadn’t caught all the vomit and it was covering the front of his hospital gown.  
“Shhh, not your fault kiddo”comforted Jane ruffling Matt’s hair. The tired blonde’s arm leaning on his side felt hard , like it was made of rock.  
“What happened?” Groaned Matt once the heaving came to a halt.  
“You pushed a boy out of the way of a speeding car, you fractured your skull, broke your right arm and your left leg, you’ve got a few other cuts and bruises but you’re going to be alright Matt” explained Jane, unbeknownst to Matt they’d already had this conversation a few times as the blonde had been floating in and out of consciousness since the accident, Jane glanced at her watch, it had been nearly twenty four hours since the horrific incident had occurred.  
However this time Matt seemed more alert, this was the longest he’d remained awake so far. The nurses began cleaning Matt up, as the nurse moved to strip away the soiled gown Jane began exiting the room in order to give the blonde some privacy. But seeing Jane leaving sent panic through Matt, had he become too much? was she leaving him behind? He didn’t want to loose her, he knew he didn’t deserve it but he liked having someone who cared so much about him. Matt saw her as a mother, he felt horrible and guilty for betraying his biological mother but turning to Jane for comfort and help seemed natural, Matt also believed Jane loved him more than his mother ever did. But now he’d driven Jane away too.  
“Please don’t leave, I’ll be good, I promise. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me” sobbed Matt, he didn’t care if she thought he was weak or pathetic, it was the only thing he could do in his current state to keep her from abandoning him.  
“Oh Matt, I just didn’t think you’d want me here while they cleaned you up. I’m not mad at you Matt” soothed Jane grabbing the blondes hand.  
“I will never leave you Matt. You and Kelly are my boys” promised Jane. Once the nurses cleaned Matt up he began to calm down. As the nurse opened the door to leave, beeping from a nearby machine vibrated through the room from the busy hospital floor, Matt winced inwardly and tried to to cover his ears but the cast on his right arm hindered his efforts and his left arm was still sluggish, the distressed blonde resorted to pressing his head against the pillow in an attempt to block out the agonising sound.  
“Is everything ok Matt?” Jane asked alarmed.  
“Make the noise stop” cried Matt, promptly the nurse shut door. Matts shoulders relaxed and he flashed them a genuine smile.After all the stress Matt succumbed to sleep once again.  
When Matt awoke again a middle aged smiling man was also in the room. The man was his dictator, he checked him over quickly and concluded that the skull fracture had caused Hyperacusis which meant that Matt was overly sensitive to noise, the doctor was unsure wether it would be permanent or not. Fortunately at the present time there were no other signs of damage, Matt would need to be monitored closely for the next twenty four hours and he’d require follow up appointments in the future to asses the damage but so far everything seemed alright.

“Is the boy ok?” Asked Matt as his mind grew clearer.  
“Yep, he only had a few scratches. He’s absolutely fine” assured Jane. Matt offered her a warm smile. Suddenly a nurse accidentally knocked over a jug full of water on the side, as the jug hit the floor with a crash Matt whined miserably, the noise rattled painfully around his head. It reminded him of when his parents would argue and his mum would start throwing objects while his dad yelled at the top of his voice and slammed doors. Christie would hug him tightly until they calmed down,Matt broke down weeping and clung tightly onto Janes hand, feeling her heart break at the blonde she kicked off her shoes and careful not to budge Matts leg she climbed up onto the bed, Matt was quite small and barely filled up the bed. The blonde clung onto her as best he could while she tentatively rubbed circles on his back.  
“Shh you’re safe now, It’s all going to be ok Matt” hushed Jane.

Kelly ran towards the room containing Matt as fast as he could, Andy’s dad Patrick was trailing close behind. Much to Kelly’s chagrin Jane had called Patrick the night before to take Kelly for the night, she said Kelly would be no use to Matt stressed and worn out but every second he was away from his little brother was absolute torture. Kelly finally reached the room and was surprised by the sight awaiting him. Matt was snuggled down on Jane’s lap, his head resting peacefully on her shoulder, his broken leg lying diagonally across the bed but still elevated on a plump pillow, his other leg tucked in against his chest with his cast encased arm wrapped around it, his uninjured arm was hooked around Jane as he held onto her. Jane was humming softly to the blonde as he slept, she kept one hand rested on his back keeping him in place. Kelly quirked an eyebrow curiously at the scene, this was definitely not the same boy he’d met who refused to talk to anyone and buried his emotions. Kelly was overjoyed to see Matt finally embracing the love they had for him. From the day Kelly had first hugged the blonde he realised Matt’s life had been lacking any sort of comfort, from what he’d heard Christie was the only person who ever showed Matt he was loved but after their parents divorce she closed herself off from everyone; when she left for college she took what little warmth there was in the house with her, leaving Matt with no one to love or care for him. Kelly didn’t blame Christie, he despised Matt’s parents for starving the innocent blonde of affection. Even though the blonde was capable of handling himself Kelly knew being tough and avoiding opening up with others was just an act to protect himself, Kelly knew that secretly Matt was extremely tactile and would soak in any affection offered.  
“Is he ok?”asked Kelly worriedly.  
“Yeah, he’s going to be alright”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the story so far. I hope you’re enjoying it.  
> Have a good day ; )


	19. Familiarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt isn’t the only person hurting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the story so far I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> I’m sorry there isn’t a bigger more elaborate plot but I like focusing on short chapters of Matt and Kelly becoming closer and helping each other. But if you’d prefer more action or drama just let me know : )
> 
> Please enjoy.

“I’m not weak” Matt repeated the words angrily over and over in his head as he miserably stared at the wheelchair parked in front of him,  
“I don’t need that” insisted Matt feeling frustration burning inside of him.  
“Really Matt?” Replied Kelly rolling his eyes in exasperation.  
“Crutches” Matt suggested hopefully.  
“Matt your arm is in a cast, so how on earth are you going to use them?”  
“One crutch and I can balance”,  
“So that’s your plan, spend the next six to eight weeks virtually hopping around”  
“Im good at hopping” responded Matt with a straight face and even tone.  
“Good at hopping my ass, you wouldn’t last a day” remarked Kelly, he had always known Matt was stubborn but this was just ridiculous.  
“Wanna bet” asked Matt quirking an a eyebrow.  
“No I don’t, nice try but it’ll take more than that to trick me”,  
“I’m not weak, I don’t need a wheelchair”  
“Matt you’re not weak, you’re human and besides needing a wheelchair doesn’t make you weak, it’s just a little extra help. This may come as a surprise to you Matt but you’re not superman, there will be times when you need help and this is one of these time Matt” explained Kelly calmly.  
“Fine” groaned Matt crossing his arms in annoyance.  
“Ready to go Matt” called Jane happily, entering the room after discussing Matt’s care with the doctor.  
“Yep grumpy is ready to go” replied Kelly when the only response the blonde gave was a piercing glare. Jane and Kelly helped Matt off the bed and carefully onto the wheelchair as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

Matt felt a combination of relief and happiness settling in as he sprawled out in his own bed, his body relaxed as he nestled into the familiar comforting blankets. Kelly had helped Matt up the stairs and he also managed to bring up the wheelchair which was now placed in the corner of the room. Within a few minutes Matt had drifted off into a dreamless sleep, unfortunately Kelly didn’t have the same luck. He’d been plagued with nightmares ever since Matt’s accident, every time he closed his eyes he saw Matt colliding with the speeding car, he heard the sickening crack as Matt bounced off the bonnet and hit the floor, however in his dreams the ambulance never came and Matt never opened his eyes. 

The sound of Kelly whimpering bed and thrashing violently in his bed had yanked Matt out of his deep sleep, as soon as he located the reason for his sudden awakening he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. All of his movements were painfully sluggish, the cast on his left leg was like a ball and chain. Clumsily he hopped towards Kelly dragging his left leg behind him, he tried to lean onto the bedside table for support but in the process he knocked his alarm clock off the table causing it to hit the floor with a thunderous clunk, the loud noise stabbed at Matt’s brain, it was like sandpaper in his ears and he just wanted it to stop, he desperately pressed his hands over his ears but the action caused him to loose his balance and he landed on the floor with a thump. Matt’s body ached all over but the sound of his friend still whimpering cleared the fog out of his head, he attempted to scramble to his feet but it was impossible, instead he pushed himself onto his knees as best he could and shuffled towards the bed. He reached his hand out and tentatively shook Kelly.  
“Hey Kelly it’s just a dream you need to wake up” urged Matt.  
“No Matt I’m sorry, please don’t leave Matt I’m sorry” pleaded Kelly.  
“Kelly I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here, I will never leave you” promised Matt just as a disheveled looking Jane darted into the room, she’d heard a pound band when Matt fell over.  
“Matt what’s going on?” Jane asked confused as she glanced at Matt leaning haphazardly against Kelly’s bed. But before Matt could answer she heard Kelly’s broken hearted whimpering,  
“He thinks I’m dead” stated a panicked Matt, he hated seeing his best friend in pain. Despite his fear he pushed all his emotions deep down and focused on helping his friend.  
“Can you please pass me the wheelchair?” Asked Matt, as much as he despised the thing now was not the time to be stubborn. Jane helped Matt into the chair and pushed it up close to Kelly’s bed. Jane had comforted Kelly during and after a nightmare before but given what Kelly’s nightmare was about she knew Matt would be the best person to help the distressed teen.  
“Come on Kelly wake up buddy, I promise I’m ok” pleaded Matt gently shaking his arm again as Kelly’s thrashing ceased and he bolted upright causing Matt to flinch back .  
“Hey Kelly, I’m right here” assured Matt gripping Kelly’s arm supportively as he regained his composure,  
“You’re ok?”  
“Yep, just a little banged up” chuckled Matt, Jane sat down on the end of the bed and smiled at the two boys.

Kelly glanced at his alarm clock and realised it was the middle of the night, he felt wide awake now and his heart was thumping rapidly his chest. Matt was ok but Kelly knew he was super close to loosing his brother this time. Kelly chewed his lip nervously and turned towards his aunt, before he asked the question on the tip of his tongue Jane cut him off,  
“Ok but I pick the film” warned Jane, as soon as Kelly turned to her with an angelic smile and questioning look she knew what was coming. Kelly had a lot of nightmares when he first moved in, on the nights he couldn’t sleep she’d make hot chocolate and they’d watch a dvd together until the young boy fell asleep.  
Meanwhile matt was furrowing his eyebrows while watching the odd exchange in front of him, he was always amazed by the way Jane and Kelly always knew what the other was thinking.

After helping Matt downstairs and settled him on the sofa Kelly began searching through their vast dvd collection, behind the cheesy disaster films and creepy horrors were Janes old collection of Disney films.  
“How about Wall-E?” Asked Kelly attempting to appear indifferent, Jane tried and failed to hide a snort as she dropped marshmallows into three mugs full of delicious hot chocolate. There was a time when Wall-E was on once a week at least, after three months Jame was pretty confident she could recite the film word for word but she never complained, one night as they settled down to watch the film again Kelly had admitted it was the first and last film his mother had ever taken him to see. Wall-e would always be a source of comfort for Kelly, it made him feel as if his mum was there with him.  
“Wall-E sounds great” smiled Matt. Kelly turned the volume down as Matt was still extremely sensitive to noise and he draped the starry fleecy blanket over them.  
“I guess this means I don’t have to go to school tomorrow” inquired Kelly with an impish grin as Jane place two mugs on the coffee table.  
“You could just skip the morning and go in for in the afternoon” suggested Jane chuckling at the disappointment on Kelly’s face.  
“But I think Matt will need me, isn’t that right buddy?” He asked hopefully gently nudging Matt.  
“Yep, need him for emotional support” mumbled the blonde his head slumping to one side.  
“Well then I can’t say no”,  
“But after that I want you back at school Kelly” warned Jane, Matt wouldn’t be back in school till the following week.  
Matt wasn’t the only one effected by the car accident but they’d work through it together, they were brothers after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, thank you for reading. I’m currently in the process of going through and editing the story so far to change their ages to fourteen. It won’t change where the stories heading but I don’t think they act like sixteen, I hope you don’t mind, Its just that there’s something about this story that’s bugging me and I think it’s the ages. Don’t worry I’ve still got lots more chapters to write, I’m definitely not ready to finish it yet.  
> Sorry for rambling but thanks for the support and feedback it’s greatly appreciated. ;)


	20. Neighbour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt helps a friend through a tough time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - mentions of character death. (Sort of canon)
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Matt hummed softly as he eagerly turned over another page of his book, instead of spending his days watching tv Jane suggested Matt try reading to pass the time. The blonde hadn’t read any books that weren’t for school since his father died. He’d been too tired to do anything for the first few months. Despite feeling happier after moving in with Kelly he hadn’t started reading again as he spent most of his free time doing something with Kelly, whether it was playing video games or spending time with Andy and Shay, the only time he wasn’t busy was during Kelly’s hockey practices, which he used to get a head start on homework. 

His love of books had come from Christie, She used to take him to the library after school. Despite being an advanced reader for his age Matt had always preferred it when Christie read to him. Her soft comforting voice always transported him to another world far away from their unhappy parents. But now he was no longer reading to escape his parents but instead he was ignoring his anxiousness over returning to school, it was Friday meaning he only had a few days left to mentally prepare himself but Matt knew he’d never be ready. He couldn’t think of anything worse than turning up to school looking helpless and broken especially in front of Griffin, his dad taught him to never look weak in front of others but that would be impossible when two out of four of his limbs were broken. For now Matt had decided to ignore his worry and focus on the book Jane had recommended, the house with a clock in its walls. Jane had told him how it was her favourite book growing up and when Kelly stayed with her when he was little he always refused to go to sleep without her reading it to him. Despite his age Matt adored the book, he preferred fantasy books to deep serious books. After all the pain and sadness in his own life optimistic books full of magic always made him feel free, they were his escape.

Matt’s mind was deep in the book when a loud noise jolted him back to reality, it made his head ache and sent a spike of panic through him. It was starting to look like Matt’s sensitivity to sound would be permanent, just one more thing to make him appear weak. After coming to his senses Matt recognised the sound as someone knocking at the door, without Kelly or Jane there to stop him he hopped over to the front door leaving the wheelchair by the television. He’d been avoiding the horrible thing as much as he could but Kelly often got annoyed, sometimes it was easier to just give in and use the chair while Kelly was present . He opened the door with his uninjured arm as he awkwardly balanced on his normal leg. Matt was shocked to see Shay in front of him, her and Andy came over frequently but never when Kelly wasn’t home. Once he recovered from his surprise he realised her face was red and blotchy and tears tracks stained her face.  
“Shay is everything alright ?” Asked Matt worriedly, internally wishing Jane and Kelly were home, they’d knock how to help the distraught girl.  
“C-can I come in, I uh I didn’t know where else to go” stammered Shay.  
“Of course” he responded immediately shuffling unsteadily to one side, she didn’t reprimand him once for standing on his broken leg meaning something must be seriously wrong. Once inside she wordlessly wrapped an arm around Matt and helped him to the sofa. Even after She helped him settle down on the sofa she remained extremely close to him, he could hear her ragged breathing.   
“Shay whatever it is you know I’m here for you right?” those words were all it took for Shay to break, she burst into sobs and leant against Matt who wrapped his arm around her as best he could despite his cast. As she cried he remained silent while he hugged her tightly, she’d tell him what was wrong when she was ready. After what felt like an hour of listening to his friends distressed cries and trying to ignore the worry bubbling up in his chest Shays crying slowed down. The sobs were replaced by sniffles and she turned to look at Matt.  
“Mm sorry for this” she apologised suddenly looking embarrassed.  
“It’s no worry, I’m just sorry I'm not Kelly he’s a lot better at thus than me” responded Matt with a faint comforting smile. He felt completely useless, his father was right he didn’t deserve friends.  
“Nah Matt You’re doing good” she replied forcing a smile of her own, she knew when she headed to the house that Kelly would be at hockey practice ; she also knew the blonde would be there and all she needed was a friend, she considered going to Andy’s but decided against it, partly because she wanted to wait for Kelly but also because she knew how kind Matt was. Kelly and her were best friends he always knew what to say, Andy always made her laugh but Matt was loyal and kind-hearted. Despite how much Matt tried to hide it he was deeply caring individual with a big soft side. She knew she was safe with Matt and she suddenly found the courage to share why her heart felt so heavy.  
“Our next door neighbour Connie passed away” stated Shay in a voice barely above a whisper. Matt could see the sadness and pain swimming in her eyes and tightened his grip on her, he could feel Shay shaking and he began rubbing her back gently.   
“I um I love my parents but they’re barely ever around” began Shay, Matt nodded in understanding Kelly mentioned once or twice before that her parents often worked away leaving her and her sister with family or friends, Matt sympathised deeply with her as he remembered how much it stung when his aunt Lisa chose work over him time and time again.  
“But when I ever needed anything or just someone to talk to I turned to Connie. She was always there for me” admitted Shay in a shaky voice.  
“Whenever I fell out with my parents she’d invite me over and we’d bake cookies or paint these little toys she liked to sell on the weekend, she’d wait until I was ready to talk. She never got mad, she always listened. When I came out she encouraged me to tell my parents and she promised whatever happened I’d always be welcome at her place. She was always in my corner” finished Shay breaking off into sobs. 

After a while Shay had calmed down, she’d buried her head in Matt’s shoulder. After checking she was still awake Matt broke his silence.  
“Why don’t we do something nice for her?” Questioned Matt. When his own father had died no one had done anything nice in his memory. They only focused on what his mother had done, Matt wished people had talked about how his dad lived instead of how he died.  
“Like what?” Questioned Shay weakly.  
“We could do a bake sale, we could donate the money to a charity you believe she’d want to help” suggested Matt thinking about the stories Shay had told him about Connie.  
“I’d like to do that” responded Shay in a calm voice, she couldn’t bring Connie back but she could make her proud.  
“Um Shay” said Matt after a moment of silence,  
“Yeah”,  
“We’re not going to let Kelly and Andy help are we?” Inquired Matt thinking about Kelly’s latest attempt to cook spaghetti bolognese, Matt still wasn’t sure how Jane had managed to clean it off the ceiling.  
“Oh definitely not, those two would burn down the kitchen” she responded chuckling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be nice to explore the friendship between Matt and Shay. 
> 
> I’m sorry if this story seems repetitive or unstructured.  
> I really enjoy writing this story but I’m not sure if it’s enjoyable to read. I’m worried its become more like a bunch of one shots instead of a flowing story (not that there’s anything wrong with one shots, I just wanted this to be a long story) I hope you still like it , if there’s anything you want me to improve criticism is always welcome.  
> Thank you so much for reading, sorry for rambling.


	21. Dead end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matts broken bones weren’t the only damage caused by the car accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the long delay in updating.  
> I really enjoy writing this story but as a consequence I didn’t focus on accuracy and continuity. Apart from my poor grammar there’s a lot of things that don’t add up in this story and the characters are extremely don’t match the original age of 16/17. I haven’t had time to go back and edit the story so I sort of got flustered and decided to take a break from this story. But instead of dwelling on past chapters I was just going to keep going. I’m hoping to update more regularly now. I’m sorry this story is a bit of a mess but thank you for reading the story so far and thank you for the kind comments.

Matt gazed out of the car window with a gigantic smile plastered on his face, after eleven miserable weeks the heavy annoying cast that had been wrapped around his leg was finally gone. His smile briefly faltered as he remembered the doctor telling him he had to attend physical therapy. Less than half an hour had passed since his cast had been removed but Jane had already had to remind him to it easy a dozen times. The cast on his arm had been removed four weeks earlier and a week ago he had finally progressed from using a wheelchair to using crutches, he had to use the crutches for next few weeks but that didn’t bother him at all. Matt was overjoyed that he could wear his own jeans instead of Kelly’s loose fitting joggers ; most importantly Matt could finally shower without having to wrap a trash bag around his leg. Also Matt hoped that they could eventually start putting the accident behind them, he hated how Kelly tensed every time they passed the street where it happened, guilt swirled around his chest at the knowledge that he had hurt Kelly. The first few weeks after the accident Kelly was practically glued to the blondes side, he only left Matt when he had doctors appointments or if they had different classes, which was a rare occurrence.  
“Everything alright Matt?” asked Jane gently breaking into his thoughts.  
“Never been better” he responded swiftly as he tore his gaze away from the busy world outside the car and offered Jane a reassuring smile. Relief rolled over Jane when she saw the blonde beaming brightly at her, she hoped that now Matt was getting some of his freedom back his mood would begin to improve. Jane had been consumed with worry the past few weeks, her boys had been acting weirdly. Matt had reverted back to his shy self, somehow he was even quieter than when Jane had met him and the only place he would go other than school was Andy’s house but that was only on rare occasions. When she asked him about it the blonde had blamed it on his lack of mobility but Jane believed Matt was just using his broken bones as an excuse, there was a war going on in Matt’s head that he was hiding from everyone.  
Despite how hard Matt had tried to hide it Jane also knew that the damage done to Matt was more than just broken bones, the accident had left behind invisible injuries that were far from healed, the blonde frequently forgot things, he often flinched at loud noises and he no longer liked being touched without permission. What concerned Jane the most was that Matt frequently went for hours without uttering so much as a word. Once again the blonde was retreating into himself, the cheerful confident teen who had been emerging was being replaced with the terrified boy who used to keep his shoes on in case he needed to flee suddenly. 

However Matt wasn’t the only one she was worried about, Kelly had become extremely irritable over the past few weeks, there was a fire in his eyes and his trademark smile was sorely missing. Jane wasn’t the only one concerned, both Andy and Shay had noticed the change in the two boys, one night while the brothers were playing a video game they snuck out of the living room and headed straight for Jane’s office, they had been desperate to know what was going on, apparently at school Kelly had been snapping and snarling at everything with a pulse. Matt was the only person safe from Kelly’s rage but that wasn’t a surprise . They all knew how badly Matt reacted to anger and that Kelly was fiercely protective of the blonde, he’d never do anything to upset Matt intentionally. Speaking of Matt the blonde was virtually mute at school, going as far as refusing to answer teachers when called on.   
Shay’s and Andy’s update on her boys had left her speechless, she didn’t have an explanation to give them, she didn’t know why her sons were so deflated. Jane felt completely helpless, normally she knew how to help her boys but she didn’t have a clue this time.   
Usually when one of the boys were having a tough time the other always knew how to help but this time their relationship was almost toxic, instead of helping each other they were keeping each other’s secrets, they were shutting out the rest of the world. She was even beginning to contemplate converting the attic into a third bedroom and separating the boys ; she decided against that idea knowing it would cause a huge argument and do more harm than good.   
But now as Jane looked at the first real smile Matt had worn in months she had faith everything would be alright, it had to be because otherwise she didn’t know what she’d do. Even Christmas has been a quiet affair, neither Kelly’s dad or mum had made contact which had only worsened the dark haired boys mood, as for Matt, Christmas had been a sad milestone for the boy, it was his first Christmas without his parents. All in all it had been a very bleak holiday.

Jane knew Kelly’s bad mood was partly a result of his mother’s absence, it had been nearly five months since her last appearance, the longest he’d ever gone without seeing her before was three months, no matter where her head was she had always showed up every few months.   
Kelly’s father hadn’t visited since he’d turned up unannounced a few months ago and annoyed Jane, upset Kelly and scared Matt. Jane had suspicions that Benny has tried making contact again but Kelly was hiding it from her, despite how much she despised Benny Jane hated the fact that Kelly felt the need to protect her from the inconsiderate firefighter.

“Matt you know you can tell me anything right? If something is going on with you or Kelly we can deal with it together, ok?”   
“Y-yeah I know” Matt stuttered,  
“But there’s nothing going on, we’re both fine” he added quickly, turning his head away from her. One of the first things he had learnt about Jane was that she was a human lie detector, Matt hoped if he hid his face and kept his voice as steady as possible she would take him at his word. The lie left a bad taste in his mouth and guilt bubbled up inside of him, Matt always felt odd lying to Jane, his parents had never cared about what was going on in his life so he had never had to worry about hiding his problems from someone before. But lying was for the best; there wasn’t anything Jane could do to help him, besides it wasn’t a huge problem he was just being weak and pathetic. His mum had been sending letter after letter asking him to visit, initially he tried to ignore them but the letters weighed heavily on his conscience. He should be thankful that his mother still wanted to be a part of his life thought Matt sombrely. 

A few weeks after the accident Kelly and Matt had travel to Benny’s house, they had to take the bus which was awkward because at the time Matt was wheelchair bound but Kelly had been eager to see Benny. Matt’s brush with death had given Kelly the sudden urge to make up with his father. However Kelly’s need to reconnect quickly evaporated when a blonde haired lady quite a few years younger than his mother had answered the door. Kelly hadn’t been surprised by the woman but the ring on her finger and the dark haired baby she was bouncing on her hip. Wordlessly Kelly had turned around and left ignoring the confused woman’s calls. Matt tried to persuade Kelly to stay and check it wasn’t a misunderstanding but despite Matt’s feeble protests Kelly continued wheeling the blonde towards the bus stop. Once Benny’s house was no longer visible a heavy silence descended on the two boy’s, they didn’t talk about the incident until a few nights later. When Matt brought it up Kelly sighed deeply before explaining that he wasn’t shocked or upset he was angry, he was furious for the poor woman and baby because a lifetime of disappointments had taught Kelly that it was only a matter of time before Benny upped and left. The woman Kelly had met was Benny’s fifth partner since Kelly’s mother, some days Kelly wondered if he really was Benny’s first child or if he had older siblings out there who were just as mad at Benny as he was. Kelly had made Matt promise never to mention the woman or baby to Jane. Matt had believed if Jane knew she’d be able to help Kelly a lot more than he could , however after everything Kelly had done for him keeping his secret was the least he could do.

When Matt arrived home he checked the mailbox for one of his mother’s letter’s as soon as he was sure Jane wasn’t watching, he’d been trying his absolute best to hide the letters from Jane, he didn’t want to talk about his mother, just thinking about her made his head spin. Once he was positive his mother hadn’t sent him another cursed letter he headed for a trash bag free shower. 

-

Matt stared up at the ceiling hugging his childhood teddy bear Harvey to his chest. The house was peaceful as Kelly had yet to return home from hockey practice. The dark haired boy had been jealous that Matt got to miss school again, even though Matt was beginning to fall behind on school work he treasured every extra second he got to spend away from that dreaded place. After his accident school had gotten ten times worse, when Kelly wasn’t around Griffin relentlessly tortured him, he followed Matt through the halls laughing and sneering making Matt feel trapped. Matt’s head injury certainly didn’t help school enjoyable either, the loud bustling halls had become unbearable, the noise made his head feel as if it was going to explode and he felt like he was drowning. Much to Matt’s embarrassment Boden had caught onto his struggles and ever since he had allowed Matt and his friends to eat lunch in his empty classroom. However Matt was thankful as it allowed him to hide away from the rest of the school.After Griffin spread the truth about his mum around school people always gave him dirty looks or avoided him but now they all looked at him with pity, Matt never thought he’d miss their harsh stares scrutinising his every movement, he didn’t want everyone to think he was weak and helpless, he was tired of being looked at like a lost little puppy.

As Matt laid on the bed his damp hair sticking to his forehead he spared a glance at his phone which was placed on the bedside table beside him. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he tightened his grip on Harvey, It was Thursday meaning Christie would be calling him in a few hours. Ever since thanksgiving without fail at six pm on every Thursday his phone would ring and his sisters name would flash across the screen, sometimes they spoke for hours but other times they talked for no longer than ten minutes but regardless the length of their conversation it always filled Matt with a warm glow. 

-

Matt glanced mournfully at his watch, it was eight pm and his phone had yet to ring, with every second that ticked by the knot in his stomach tightened. After giving into the anxiety gnawing at his brain he tried calling her but it went straight to voicemail. Matt began nervously tugging at the sleeve of his sweater, when his breathing became erratic Kelly moved from his own bed and slowly sat down next to Matt. Kelly began exaggerating his own breathing in the hopes Matt would copy him. It took every ounce of self control to stop Kelly from reaching out and pulling Matt into a hug, he hated that he couldn’t even reach out and gently touch Matt’s arm anymore. Kelly understood that Matt needed time to return to his normal self but he hated not being able to comfort his younger brother. The tension from Kelly’s body disappeared as Matt began to mirror his breathing.  
“Do you think something’s happened to her?” Questioned Matt shattering the silence. Kelly’s heart clenched at the fear leaking into Matt’s voice.  
“I’m sure she just forgot Matt or got distracted by something, college is a busy place” explained Kelly lamely.  
“But what if something bad happened, I can’t loose my sister Kelly!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter.  
> I’m definitely going to bring Alvin back at some point but out of curiosity how would you feel about me including Voight. I know there’s a lot of different opinions about his character and if I did include him would you want him portrayed as good or bad.  
> I hope to add more boden soon and focus on Kelly’s story a bit more but this will always be Matt centric.  
> Thank you again and have a good day.


	22. Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes loving people hurts us more than we care to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay again, I wrote this chapter a week ago but it took forever to proof read, it’s an incorrect grammar minefield and quite frankly there’s probably still a lot of mistakes. Sorry.
> 
> Also I’m currently going through and editing previous chapters to change their ages to about 12, therefore this is now a middle school au instead of high school. I accidentally portrayed as a lot younger than 16. Hope you don’t mind.
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter.

When Nine pm flashed on Matt’s alarm clock he felt his stomach lurch. The young boy swiped furiously at the tears leaking out of his eyes, it was just a phone call there was no reason to get so upset he reminded himself, Kelly was right People get distracted all the time, Christie was probably just busy. But Matt’s heart continued to thump violently in his chest, what if Kelly was wrong? After the rough year Matt had had Christie getting hurt didn’t seem that unlikely, his father died, his mother went prison, his aunt kicked him out and he even got hit by a car, the blonde was pretty sure he was cursed. As he stared at his phone intently dozens of different dark scenarios flashed through his mind, each one worse than the last. His breathing grew more erratic as he imagined having to say goodbye to Christie, he wasn’t sure he could survive loosing another loved one.

Abruptly panic surged through Matt as he felt someone shaking his arm, fear was etched on his face as he yanked his arm away and his eyes darted towards the culprit; Matt’s expression immediately softened as his eyes landed on Kelly who held his hands in the air as a sign of peace.  
“Come on Matty Jane has been calling you for the last five minutes” informed Kelly softly before offering his hand to Matt, the blonde hesitantly accepted and Kelly pulled him into a standing position. Matt’s feet struggled to cooperate and Kelly found himself dragging the unsteady boy out of the room, he wrapped an arm tightly around Matt’s waist as he supported the other boy slowly down the stairs. As they reached the bottom Kelly suddenly felt Matt disappear from his side, he watched as Matt clumsily barrelled into an unsuspecting figure standing in the living room talking to Jane.  
“Christie” gasped Matt as he melted into his sisters arms. He was barely standing upright as his recently healed leg struggled to support his weight; if it wasn’t for Christie holding him tightly Matt would have fallen into a heap on the floor by now.  
“Shhh Matt take it easy”mumbled Christie as she rubbed soothing circles on her brother’s back, relief rolled over her as Matt accepted the contact, Jane had warned her of the return of Matt’s extremely timid behaviour.   
“Thought something bad had happened to you” confessed Matt but his words were muffled as his face was pressed firmly against Christie’s shoulder.  
“I’m sorry Matt I was in such a rush and my phone died before I had chance to call you, Lisa offered to come tell you but I thought It would be better if I did” rambled Christie as her heart flooded with guilt, she never intended to make Matt worry.   
“Tell me what?” asked Matt fearfully before pulling away from his sister long enough to see the irritation in her eyes. Christie looked at the vulnerable boy in her arms and contemplated lying, Matt didn’t need any more trouble on his plate. However she knew if he found out later on he would never forgive her for keeping it a secret.  
“Mum got in a fight yesterday, she had to be rushed to hospital” sighed Christie.  
“What? Is she ok? ” Matt cried, the fear and panic that had been shrouding his mind earlier promptly returned.  
“She’s fine, she needed surgery but she’s ok now” huffed Christie, she felt like she’d never get away from her mother, even while in prison she had managed to find away to make herself centre of attention. Christie only came down to visit because she knew if Nancy died she’d regret it for the rest of her life. Fortunately the surgery had been successful and Nancy Casey was going to be ok, despite the good news Christie found it difficult to feel relieved. A part of her wondered if she and Matt would be better off if Nancy passed away, without their mother lurking in their lives they could finally begin to move on,  
“Can I see her?” Matt asked eagerly. He was to distressed to notice the look Christie and Jane shared but Kelly clocked it and immediately braced himself for the difficult conversation he knew would inevitably ensue. Kelly understood why Jane wanted to keep Matt away from his mother but he was also familiar with Matt’s feeling of longing. Kelly missed his own mother and would do anything to see her. Also Kelly would always take Matt’s side whether he agreed of not, even if the rest of the world turned their backs on them they would always have each other, they were brothers.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Matty” admitted Christie as she brushed his messy blonde hair out of his eyes.  
“Why not?” Matt shot back batting away his sisters hands in annoyance.  
“She’s my mum too” he declared his posture becoming rigid and the warmth disappearing from his eyes.   
“I know Matty but she’s no good for us” Christie insisted moving to grasp Matt’s arms but the boy stepped back causing her heart to clench.  
“But she’s our mum”,  
“Look matt she’s going to be fine, she’s not dying. She doesn’t need to see you”,  
“But I want her to know I care!”  
Christie looked sadly at her brother, he didn’t deserve any of this, she would do anything to keep Nancy out of his life forever . She tentatively took another step closer to Matt.  
“She knows you care Matty” Christie assured opening her arms wide, she felt relief roll over her as Matt finally allowed himself to be pulled into another hug.  
“But I didn’t respond to her letters” the distressed boy mumbled into her shoulder.   
“Letters?” Asked Christie failing to keep her voice steady. Desperately she turned towards Jane hoping the older woman would know something, unfortunately Jane shook her head sending a spike of worry through Christie. A quick glance at Kelly told her that the boy was just as shocked as they were.  
“What letters Matt?” Repeated Christie when the blonde remained silent. Annoyance continued to surge through Christie, she should have known their mother would leave Matt alone.   
Meanwhile Matt berated himself for letting his secret slip, in her letters his mum had begged him to keep their correspondence between the two of them. She’d warned him that everyone else would try to keep them apart if they found out, nobody else understood that she killed his father for him.  
“I uh” stuttered matt, he was starting to accept that he wouldn’t be able to bluff his way out of this problem. Reluctantly he separated himself from Christie and stumbled towards the coatrack standing beside the front door, he reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved a pile of letters.  
“She’s been sending them since Christmas ” mumbled Matt as he stared at the letters in his hands. The blonde flinched instinctively when someone gently placed a hand on his shoulder, after registering the person as Jane his body relaxed and he leaned into the supportive touch.   
“May I ?” She asked tentatively as her hand hovered over the letters. After a few moments Matt offered a small nod indicating for her to take them.  
“Oh Matt” mumbled Jane as she skimmed over the letters, with each word she found it even harder to contain her anger, until then she hadn’t realised it was possible for her to hate Nancy Casey even more. She wished Matt told her about the letters sooner but she understood his need to protect Nancy, after all she was his mother, a bad one but his mother nonetheless.   
“Matt, she had no right to say any of these things” sighed Jane wondering if she could have done more to protect Matt, she thought the young boy finally trusted her but now she knew they still had a long way to go.   
“But it’s all true” croaked Matt,  
“No Matt it’s not, none of what happened is your fault” Jane insisted pulling Matt even closer.  
“I don’t care, I want to see her” Matt whined, he had a right to see his mother, she needed to know he still cared about her.   
Jane exhaled, there was nothing she could do or say to persuade the boy to stay away from his mother and persisting would only cause him more distress.  
“Look Matt it’s late, Christie is going to stay the night with us. We can discuss this again in the morning” stated Jane softly giving Matt’s shoulder one last comforting squeeze. The boy nodded before heading helping Kelly set up the sofa bed for Christie.

For the fifth time that night Matt’s eyes shot open and he found himself staring at the ceiling, as he noticed the daylight seeping through the blinds he accepted that he wouldn’t be getting anymore sleep that night. He listened intently to Kelly’s soft snoring but his head was throbbing and he couldn’t stop thinking about his mother. He stumbled out of bed and changed out of his pyjamas as quietly as possible, he cast one last glance at Kelly and was pleased to see the other boy was still fast asleep. Matt shuffled out of the room leaving behind his crutches, if he wanted to sneak out without getting caught using crutches probably wasn’t a good idea. He struggled down the stairs practically dragging his weaker leg, a few times his leg had buckled and he had feared that he would end up tumbling to the floor, eventually he reached the bottom without making too much noise. He shuffled past Christie’s sleeping form and reached into his pocket pulling out his house keys but was surprised to find the door already unlocked. Jane must have forgotten reasoned Matt before he tentatively pushed open the door and hobbled onto the porch, his heart dropped and he gulped as his eyes landed on Jane. His surrogate Aunt was sat on the porch drinking a cup of coffee as she watched the morning sun. Wordlessly he turned around hoping she hadn’t heard him, unfortunately Matt hadn’t been as quiet as he thought.  
“Sit” requested Jane causing him to freeze in place , he sighed but obediently dropped down beside her. To Matt’s surprise Jane didn’t say anything instead she continued sipping the warm beverage in her hand, Matt felt as if whole body was shaking in anticipation. He wasn’t sure if she’d be angry or disappointed; he didn’t know which would be worse. Finally Jane broke the torturous silence causing the tension in the air to ease.  
“I used argue a lot with my mum, I used to think she was overprotective and controlling but now I realise she was only ever doing what was best for me” explained Jane in a voice full of fondness.  
“Matt I’m not stopping you from seeing your mum because I’m being mean, I’m doing it because I care” stated Jane, Matt tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, he didn’t need protecting from his own mother.  
“Mums not a bad person, she was doing what she thought was best for me” Matt replied robotically as if his words weren’t really his own.  
“No Matt I don’t think she was” cut in a voice weighed down with tiredness. Matt shuffled over slightly pressing into Jane’s side to allow the newcomer to join them on the steps.  
“Matty mum only ever does what’s best for her” Christie stated as she sat down beside Matt.  
“You’re wrong, she loves us” mumbled Matt , he didn’t have the energy to fight anymore.  
“I’m not saying she doesn’t love us Matt, it’s just she-“ Christie paused as she ran a hand through Matt’s scruffy hair. Initially she wanted to protect her brother from the painful truth but now she realised Matt needed to know what sort of person Nancy really was.  
“She loves herself more” insisted Christie firmly hoping her words wouldn’t do more harm than good. Matt shook his head and subconsciously buried himself further into Janes side.  
“How about we make a deal?” Interrupted Jane, she knew it would take time to help Matt understand how toxic his mother was. Instead she wanted to ensure Matt knew she would always be there for him, she would be there to pick up the pieces when Nancy inevitably hurt him.  
“Why don’t you start writing letters to her instead? If everything goes well after two months we’ll arrange a visit”   
“Two months” whined Matt dropping his head tiredly onto janes shoulder.  
“Or you can walk to the hospital on your own, with your dodgy leg you might get there by mid-night if you’re lucky” remarked Jane earning a small chuckle from Christie.  
“But of course you’ll have to work out how to get past the guards outside her room, they won’t let you in without a guardian present” Christie added with a grin.  
“Fine, letters it is” mumbled Matt.  
“Will you help me write it?” Asked Matt softly staring at Jane with pleading eyes, he never knew what to say his mother, he always seemed to say the wrong thing.  
“Of course I will Matt” Jane replied wrapping her arms protectively around the young boy.  
“I’m always here for you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Thank you for reading. ;)  
> And thank you for the comments.  
> Have a great day.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed thanks for reading : )


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